german jungle

why go to them

2012-01-21T11:21:00.000-08:00

"To be concerned with the outcast is an echo, or course, of the Gospel itself. Characteristically, the Christian is to be found in his work and witness in the world among those for whom no one else cares--the poor, the sick, the imprisoned, the misfits, the homeless, the orphans and beggars. The presence of the Christian among the outcasts is the way in which the Christian represents, concretely, the ubiquity and universality of the intercession of Christ for all men."

~William Stringfellow, My People is the Enemy

looking ahead.. 2012

2011-12-29T12:43:00.000-08:00

so.. and in order to write such a great review next year, i guess i have to set some goals! and here they are, in no particular order..

Ministry Goals 2012

~expand the RausKreis... this is a group i started in Leipzig similar to the StreetGroup in Bremen. so far though, we are very, very small. we meet mondays, which is unfortunate.. but we can hopefully change the day in 2012.

~get back into jail counseling. this has been a goal for so many years, that i never dreamt adding it to the list for 2011- and yet it came true in 2011 for half a year! now i am hooked, i really feel right when working in the jails- especially Torgau, the prison for more hardened, long-term criminals. yeah, i'm strange. i'd like to go back... possibly weekly in 2012. i even have someone who offered to donate the train tickets (which is what held me back the second half of the year- its 15e a day).

~begin mentoring at least one person.

~convoy 2012- we should do it again while we're hot!

~preach some more... i have realized this isn't my calling, but i like it so much and feel for occasional sermons i do have enough to say :)

~continue the cafe, and possibly expand it... right now we are open 2 days a week from 11 to 5, and are 2 women doing it. always with coffee and tea, and almost always i cook for whoever is there at meal time.

~reach out to theology students who are struggling with their faith or are not yet christians.

Personal Goals 2012

~get my credits for Bible NT, OT and pass the state Hebrew exam, start Greek, and two other credit bearing courses.

~re-up my financial support group and maintain a good communication with them about my work.

~get some style. i still look like a street worker.. but i am working in a more... uh... adult? dignified? yuppie? scene, and look a bit outta place sometimes. (who wants to thrift store it up in dallas in feb??)

~take a vacation (nbot a weekend.. a real trip) that is not related to work. it's been... uh... awhile.. the last real vacation was the kate-konspiracy in 2008. this year's goal (maybe)? if i pass hebrew i want to GO to israel. yeah, motivation! (just need a reeeeeaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy cheap flight.. i can stay with friends of friends)

2011 review...

2011-12-29T12:01:00.000-08:00

so, tradition would decree that i take a look back at my goals from december 2010 for this year, and see how i did.. and i'm not one to break with tradition now, am i... (insert laugh and then notice i happen to mean it this time, ironically)

Goals for 2011

Ministry:

~move to Leipzig. Some of you might have heard whispers of this.. now i am making it official. Next week i will be going to Leipzig to look for an apartment. It is the culmination of several reasons, and i will post about the decision in more detail later on.

yes! i got an apartment that week (the very one i wanted) and moved a week later. a lot of great people helped out- in fact, that's how i met many of them.

~make contact in the city with churches and organizations that are relevant for my type of ministry, establish what is already in place and what needs are still there.

yes... but maybe not as intensively as i had planned.

~if it fits, (and i kinda think it will) establish the Open Living Room. If not, seek God for His new plan in the city.

yes- ok, so i needed a push on this one, but we do have an open cafe twice a week!

~preach again!

yes- i man have only held three (two in leipzig, one on convoy) sermons, but hey, i never said how often i wanted to ;)

~start Theater projects. If the camera is replaced, start film projects.

no... darn, not a perfect record. i'd kinda forgotten about this.. however, i DID get my camera fixed (by a friend, who just basically turned it on..) so....

~Convoy 2011 (yeah! we are finally planning another convoy!!)

yes! the convoy was three weeks in july, ending at freakstock and mostly through cities in the former east germany.

~maintain the financial support group.

yes... although just barely. my financial status is under the needed amount as of this month (dec 11) and going forward. so if you are looking for a missionary to support in the new year.........

Personal:

~go to lots of Doctors and get all of my stuff checked and fixed and in good shape.

yeah... so i am not glad about this, but i went to lotsa doctors.. starting in january with two visits to a doc and followed in the spring by a serious problem with my optic nerve that left me quite limited for about two months. i really got my money outta the insurance on that one. then there was another elective thing, that wasn't covered by insurance, but a friend from highland baptist sponsored that.

~live alone, Communal living is great, and i though i would always want it.. but i am tired, and just need my own 4 walls to come home to. This might pass, but for now, i just want some space where there aren't random people at all hours making noise and messes. Moving to Leipzig means i can find an apartment for the price i pay here for a single room in a shared flat.

yes! i actually got an apartment here for the EXACT rent i was paying in a small shared flat in karlsruhe! it has been such a blessing.. i have two rooms, kitchen and bath (with tub). the catch is i don't have heaters- just coal burning stoves. and it happens to be in the part of town renown for drug dealors and violence... but that means it's perfect, right? i really like my neighbors and most of the people in our building are quite nice. there have been a lot of cool conversations. i think this particular apartment is exactly right for me, and for God. (yeah, i guess i do have a roommate...)

~Studies... finish my NT courses and learn Hebrew. Be at least half finished with masters by end of 2011.

ok... this one got overhauled... due to the visa issues i was forced to register at the university, not the distance program i was doing. this meant i had to leave the other program and my credits didn't transfer. i have started to see why being at the university is part of God's plan, though. you'd be amazed how many theology students do not believe... hint: more than half. so, i took my ethics, church history, and judaism requierments and jail-counseling last spring. now i am in hebrew, new testament and old testament.. the bible classes end in feb, hebrew goes another semester. i am also taking sign language for fun. if this sounds like a lot.. it isn't. i go to university a day and a half a week.

~visit Dallas.. it's been 2 years already.

wellllll...... does booking a flight count?? i am coming to the states in february-- save time for me everybody! i would love to meet up, get a coffee or plumage a thrift store!

~learn another big chunk of Bible verses.

no... instead this year i ended up concentrating on learning what content is in every chapter of the bible. thats for the exams in feb. after that feel free to quiz me.

christmas 2011... Görlitz

2011-12-26T13:06:00.000-08:00

i spent this christmas the way i usually do... with the down and outs with nowhere else to go, with a group of jesus freaks cooking up a good meal. this year i was invited by my friends öko and ben to go to a town on the polish boarder where they live and help out. we cooked a midnight meal for about 30 people at an all-night christmas party. see for yourself!

my christmas package from highland baptist: WOW! best package EVER!

Öko in the teekeller kitchen

looks yummy... traditional german meal.

guests

ben playing cards with guests..

guests

coffee and tea..

ben and i

the message.

jesus freaks leipzig on tv

2011-12-07T13:11:00.000-08:00

click on the title of the post to see a short news clip about the jesus freaks leipzig (and see me a few times). it's in german, but there's some worship and m friends.. from 1min 10 to 4 min 40.

the kindness of strangers

2011-10-14T13:52:00.000-07:00

i just got in from Beethoven's 4th and 6th symphonies at the Gewandhaus Leipzig (big-deal orchestra). It was absolutely amazing! and... i was there because a stranger gave me a ticket! (my seat cost over 40euro) it was a wonderful night out, wearing a fancy ball gown and doc martens... watching people and listening to the music. oh, and my classmates got a good laugh out of it too, because i first went to hospital counseling fully decked out for the evenings entertainment. (i think most readers can appreciate how unusual it is to see me in a dress....)

remember my foot?

2011-09-24T14:28:00.001-07:00

ok, so i have tried reeeeaaaallllyyy hard to keep the whinning about my foot to a minimum over the past few years.. but now i need to. it all started back here in the summer of 2007. yeah, thats a long time. i spent 13 months on crutches, wore an ankle brace for much longer, and have had a constant level of pain bad enough to make things... difficult (understated). then there were the bad days... the days i walked too far or stood too long (more than 5 minutes was uncomfortable, more than 15 meant swelling), or slept on it funny (even though it was wrapped in a down comforter for support), or the weather was changing.... on those days, the pain was so bad, i couldn't manage even the most routine things. like walking to the bathroom instead of crawling. there were often weeks when the foot would swell up after having overdone it (again, with basic daily things) and i'd resort to the crutches again. and on the worst of those, the pain affected my mood pretty bad, making me bitter and bitting, and i'd have to lock myself away to not offend people- or let them see the tears of pain i couldn't fight back. people who barely know me know i can't walk. in karlsruhe and leipzig people just accepted it for who i am, because they didn't know me differently.

so i tried to keep this out of my reports, mentioning it on the side, as a prayer request scantily formed.. and had long since given up the hope of anything changing. even the doctors said a surgery would have only about a 30% chance of helping.

so here's the reason i am bringing it up now: despite my conviction that i was just going to have to tough it out and bear it, God healed me. its been six weeks now. At freakstock people kept praying for it.. which is nice.. but also kinda annoying when they stop you alot and pray "for nothing." it gets old. like, what's the point? and it starts to rub a bit on faith... but i won't go into all the issues that it raises at this point.. anyway...

the last night of freakstock i pulled an all-nighter talking to a good friend of mine in the tea tent. at about 5 am an american doctor (who is kinda a mentor for the jesus freaks) came in.. we chatted for a few minutes and, as usual, he said, "well before i go let's pray together for cate's leg." my friend wasn't an advocate of faith healing prayers, and the doc himself had already prayed for me ten times over the years at least.. and i was tired and not really in more pain than usual... and just kinda figured "let him pray quick and get it over with, then we can go back to the conversation." and so they prayed while i watched the people across the room tell jokes. i think the prayer was about two sentences.

so the morning after freakstock i woke up. oh.. thats unusual- to sleep all night without waking up from pain. and then to not have pain in the morning. any pain. not even that constant companion pain i had grown so accustomed to. and i was skeptical at first...

but it;s been 6 weeks. i bike reeeaaalllyyy long distances, stand around talking, go for walks, climb stairs.... basically, i act like a normal slightly lazy human (yeah, my foots fine, but i am still outta shape).

anyone want to go hiking? or maybe start jogging? (oh, i dont have any shoes for that.. i had to wear ones with ankle support for so long..) or just talk about how great God is (preferably while standing)?

Freax Café

2011-08-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

we started opening the jesus freaks space up twice a week for an informal café. there are no set prices, it's pay what you can and want. there are no fancy specialty drinks or pastries, just whatever people bring along. we are just there, kinda like sitting in your friends living room. we cook together, we chill together, we play games, worship, talk and pray. it people need something, we see if we can help. but for the most part, it is just about community. from 11 to 5 we are there. freaks come in and out, and a few friends from elsewhere, and now we are starting to see the first few people stopping by randomly. we are hoping that this informal setting will help us reach out into the community.

0-8-15

2011-08-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

0-8-15 is a saying in german for something thats standard. and well, since that's my bday, i guess i set the standard! this year for the 32nd time. it was a nice day, i had a grill party with friends- vegetarian and alcohol free. we hung out in a park, and invited others passing by to join us- occasionally with success.

freakstock 2011: course for Jesus

2011-08-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

convoy ended at freakstock, the Jesus freaks festival. we were there in time for the pre-pre-set-up. it was good to have a day off and a shower, do laundry, and get used to being in a larger group. convoy'd been like following jesus- just 12 or 13 of us at most times.

i worked as a translator/ helper for the foreign guests again. it was interesting to talk to people and see those that i see once a year. and i made some new friends, and am excited to see what will grow out of those... even met a lot of non-freaks from leipzig. one of my new friends MAY move to leipzig.. that'd be a real blessing, because we are on the same wavelength. i also found a few new people for the bible study i am starting and at least one who wants to come to drug counseling.

now i am back at leipzig.. getting back into the swing of normal.

convoy in review

2011-08-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

so.. a lot has been going on.. convoy is over, so is freakstock. i am still flashed from all of the impulses, happenings, and people along the way... but i will try and give a summary, so that you get the idea.

we started off in roehrsdorf near dresden at an artists community in an old castle. we had a few days of team building and prayer.. lots and lots of prayer. we felt it was important not to just jump into actionism but rather to seek the Lord and get to know one another. one day was also spent at the new steiger base in kroegis, where they were celebrating the opening. we wanted to show our support as jesus freaks, especially since the majority of the convoyaners is from the region.

the first city we set off for was leipzig! this was in the plan long before i moved here, so it was a rather cool thing for me. on the way we stopped right outside of town at the lake while we waited for evening to drive into town. there we did praise and worship and came into contact and good conversations with a few people. the jesus freaks in leipzig rented a parking lot across from the church for convoy, and we set up camp there. it was a great location, and the church really blessed us with food and an easy atmosphere. tuesday we set up for a grill night, and had invited people who we knew from the church and those associated or earlier members who had moved on. wednesday we went into the city on a "treasure hunt" praying and asking the Lord to lead us, there we did worship in the street and invited people we came into conversation with to the church. at night we had a worship service with a message about the holy spirit and a lot of time where the convoy prayed intensely for everyone from the church.

thursday we set off for chemnitz and spent a few hours on the way at the lake, praying and talking. in chemnitz we kept pretty busy at the jesus freaks/ salvation army! friday we led a childrens ministry in the park, and in the evening a worship service for the youth. saturday we spent doing practical ministry, working on a house project from some of the church members. sunday we visited fellow convoyaners that were unable to make the trip this year because they had a baby. then we led the church service, the theme was gal 5:22, the fruits of the spirit. we each had a testimony about how god taught us one of the fruits, and we shared them between worship songs. then a short sermon topped it off. afterwards we grilled, and spent time with the church.

monday we headed to jena, but on the way stopped in glauchau to pick up a convoyaner who lives there at a christian community project. we spent some time in their chapel, praying for the vision they have and the issues they are dealing with. in jena we were staying with a family- all 15 of us and some others from the church as well! it was again about fellowship, prayer and worship. we took a tour of the city to be able to understand some of the historical implications, and spent a lot of time eating. our main outreach was a bbq in the park, where we also came into conversations with passers by and others grilling. the church in jena is very small and new, so it was important for them that we were there and letting them know that they are part of something bigger.

from there we spent an afternoon in erfurt, where there is no longer a freaks group. we met a freak and prayed with her for the city and the freaks. she was pregnant and past her due date, so we prayed for the baby as well- he is here now and doing well. falko and i were also very happy to find an old friend of ours while we were there, who is still searching for God. the conversation was short, but good.

we drove on and spent the night in kassel ihringshausen... if you have known me a long time, this might still be in your memory... i used to live there in an old factory building that had been taken over by christians and used as a kind of half-way house. we just stayed the night, but it was an intense night... and by far not an easy one. baerbel and jarno came home quite late, after we arived, which caused some confusion... but it was good to speak with them, clear some things up... and to sleep in my old room! in the morning the house mates joined us for breakfast in the garden, and even a few who no longer live there showed up unexpectedly, which made me happy. we heard about the changes and prayed for the project. it seems like its gone in a positive direction.

then we drove to lemgo, where we met daggi and saw the city and her church (its a state-church). they have a lot of cool projects, and we were able to pray about them. then we were supposed to have a church service, but no church members came, so it became a reflective church service for us.

then we went to the koptic closter for a day, and helped them practiacally getting ready for a conference. we stayed long enough for the evening literagy. from there we went to the freakstock festival in time to set it all up. we spent a few days passing out flyers and inviting people from the region.

this is basically just a scetch of it all, with most of the good bits left out because there is just tooooo much to tell. anyone who'd like to know more can skype me or come by for a coffee!

convoy 2011 week 1

2011-07-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

not much time to write, am on the road with convoy- the rolling missions trip i have been planning for two years. its going well... the stories will be told when its over, for now click the title of this post and see some pictures!

dead blog?

2011-06-17T14:00:00.001-07:00

ok, so i have been trying to at least occasionally update the blog... but its difficult now, where a lot of what i do falls under the category not-for-the-public (ie my work at the jails)

so.. is anyone even still reading? do you want to read about me, personally, or about me in ministry?

Jail

2011-05-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

Today i went to jail for the first time in Leipzig. we did "church." it was... surprisingly normal. i kinda thought it'd be more crass or something, but really there wasn't much difference to the salvation army or my street group in bremen. maybe because the group was so small, or because it was a youth prison? i did have a great chance to talk with the pastor though, so that was cool. all in all, i was there about 2 hours. next week i am back in jail- but as a counsellor at the long-term prison. looing forward to it! :)

by the way...

2011-04-23T05:59:00.001-07:00

i finally got the VISA!!!!!!

Book Review for Booksneeze

2011-04-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

Finding Our Way Again: the Return of the Ancient Practices by Brian McLaren and Phyllis Tickle is the first book i am reviewing for a website that specializes in reviews of new Christian literature. I was very excited about the idea, and chose a book to review that i thought would compliment my current interests well. The cover is reminicent of stained-glass windows, and echos the title well in it's medieval cathedral feel. The summary that caught my interest begged the question, "Why have certain spiritual disciplines been in use for centuries, and why are they so important?" It went on to claim, "Brian McLaren guides us on this quest for an explanation of these spiritual practices, many of which go all the way back to Abraham and the establishment of Israel. In the midst of contemporary Christianity, we discover the beauty of these disciplines and the transformation through Christ that each can provide." Since this book is the first in a series of eight books, i thought it would be a good place to start my study of these ancient Biblical practices.

When the book arrived i was excited, taking in the cover, the notes on the back and even reading the forward before starting in on the text... something i am usually too impatient to do. I wanted to prepare myself for the book, be open to it. It started out with an antidote... and that style continued throughout: stories from the author's life or imagination and metaphors made up much of the text. The chapter was very short- as the author's style seems to be- and at the end were some "spiritual excercises." I found these increasingly annoying as i read the book, and at some point started skipping them altogether.

As far as the content is concerned, i would warn readers that at many points i wondered if the author is indeed christian? his biography says he is a "former pastor." The book seems to point to a more unitarian view of religion.

In the end i do not feel that the book taught me more about the ancient practices i was hoping to read about. Instead i am left with a jumble of images and the same curiosity about the ancient practices of fixed-hour prayer, fasting, sacred meals, Sabbath, and pilgrimages that i expected him to discuss more.

Winter Training

2011-03-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

if you tried to reach me over the past week, you wouldn't of succeeded. i was in the middle of nowhere. no really, there was no internet or telephone... i was at the Winter Training of the Jesus Freaks Saxony Region. the WT is like a mini-discipleship school. there were 5 days of seminars frm topics as diverse as God's heart and exegese, from leadership to church history.

madlen had asked me to come along and cook for the group, and i said yes... even though the timing was really rather bad, what with the move and visa troubles. i want to be a blessing to my new region, to help out where i can. so then she asked if, since i was there anyway, i could translate for Paul Straight, a doctor and freaks mentor from New York.

it was a pretty good time, i was able to participate in the praise and worship/ prayer times, and in the evenings where we just hung out. i saw some old friends, made some new ones, and managed not to give anyone digestive problems.

now i am back in leipzig, and immediatly thrown back into the chaos. i registered for classes today at the university. most will be block-seminars, meaning they meet on one or two weekends during the semester. another is a course on counseling in jails! i am VERY excited about that, because i see the people generally before and after their stint in the slammer, but have never been able to go IN to do ministry (well, the odd visit, but to specific people, not as an official counsellor). there are limited spots.. i am number 15 on the list.. and i am really hoping that puts me IN the class (they didn't specify how many, but i am told it is usually either 9, 12, or 15...).

leipzig really does seem to be where God has placed me.. things are falling into place well- and people to counsel seem to find ME for a change. (*doorbell* "hi... i need to talk to someone, you do that, right?...")

visa news... no change. but i am looking for a lawyer and may have found a contact to one.

there are a few random things i am in need of right now due to the move, and if anyone feels the desire to sponsor one, i'd be very appreciative. they are not "necessary" items, but things i would like to have: toaster (15e), sandwhich grill (25e), coffee maker (30e), locker (20e), dishwasher (because i have house guests with hep c, and their cups need to be washed at higher temps than i can do by hand). [all prices based on my assumed ability to ebay after watching similar items]

hans in heaven

2011-02-19T06:32:00.000-08:00

i can't even really find the words for this post.. i have mentioned others that passed on before and what they meant to me. many i didn't even mention because it's morbid how many i know who die.. and now, it's Hans.

i don't think i need to explain who he was. anyone who knows me has heard of hans. or even met hans. or at least read on here about him, his fight with addiction and his turn to God, his baptism and his return to drugs. he meant a lot to me... he was my biggest challenge and biggest blessing.

he died of an illness, not a drug-overdose.

last night i sat with friends and suddenly started telling stories of hans. sad ones, funny ones, hopeful ones.. and i caught myself always saying "he was"... i corrected it to "is" and told more stores. i guess, in a way, it was like a wake. "was" had been the correct term. i always thought i'd know it somehow when he passed. i guess i was right.

looking ahead.. 2011

2011-01-01T07:54:00.000-08:00

This year saw a lot of unexciting things happen. I learned to sew. I started back to school on my MTh. I had massive troubles with my residence permit. I continued to have them. I finally established my financial support (thanks to all of you!!). I had some health issues redefine annoying. I got better medical insurance. I did as much as i could in Karlsruhe. And now, i am glad to be moving forward... I think 2011 will be quite different.... quite different indeed.

so, without further ado..

Goals for 2011

Ministry:

~move to Leipzig. Some of you might have heard whispers of this.. now i am making it official. Next week i will be going to Leipzig to look for an apartment. It is the culmination of several reasons, and i will post about the decision in more detail later on.

~make contact in the city with churches and organizations that are relevant for my type of ministry, establish what is already in place and what needs are still there.

~if it fits, (and i kinda think it will) establish the Open Living Room. If not, seek God for His new plan in the city.

~preach again!

~start Theater projects. If the camera is replaced, start film projects.

~Convoy 2011 (yeah! we are finally planning another convoy!!)

~maintain the financial support group.

Personal:

~go to lots of Doctors and get all of my stuff checked and fixed and in good shape.

~live alone, Communal living is great, and i though i would always want it.. but i am tired, and just need my own 4 walls to come home to. This might pass, but for now, i just want some space where there aren't random people at all hours making noise and messes. Moving to Leipzig means i can find an apartment for the price i pay here for a single room in a shared flat.

~Studies... finish my NT courses and learn Hebrew. Be at least half finished with masters by end of 2011.

~visit Dallas.. it's been 2 years already.

~learn another big chunk of Bible verses.

2010 review..

2011-01-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

ok, so at the turn of the year i shared some goals for my ministry life and personal life.. lets see how i did...

ministry:
~to do street work 2 times a week
yes... spending time on Werder Platz and other city locations was a stable part of my ministry this past year.

~to get more involved with gospel tribe
yes... i took charge of the Werder Platz team while they were out of the country, had good meetings with the leadership, led a Christmas outreach with them, and helped in the development of Laden 33.

~to find ways of working with the salvation army, if possible
yes... i continued volunteering Thursdays at the cafe, took over the Bible Studies when the leaders were unable to attend, and took part in events for the youth.

~to find a church where i can begin preaching
no... well, in theory yes, but i haven't held my first sermon yet.

~to make a new film for a festival that carries a subtle christian message
no... turns out my camera broke, and i was unable to begin shooting (too bad, had a great idea lined up). the expense of repairing the camera is more than i could afford at this time.

~to further develope the "offene wohnzimmer" ministry concept that i have been working on in 2009 and take steps to start making it a real ministry, not just a concept in development.
yes.. in a way.. i developed the idea and even saw a very close model of what i had worked on come into existence in the area i was targeting.. unfortunately, i am not part of the team carrying the project.

personal:
~to start a masters of theology program through distance learning (barring finances: to continue to take the online classes and complete at least 6)
yes! i was admitted to Martin Bucer Seminar and began studies in September. The school has awarded me a Scholarship. I attend class one saturday a month, the rest is done through distance learning. I took my first exam in December and recieved the mark "2" in words "good" and equal to about a B+ at a difficult US school.

~to memorize large passages from the Bble
yes... the MTh helped with this.. i committed 150 Bible passages (ie most more than 1 verse) to memory... in German.

~to find a new mentor
yes.... a couple from Vienna, who have been my model for 5 years already on the "types of people i need as a mentor"... i finally just asked them instead of looking for people like them. they said Yes! and have been my new mentors since the summer.

~to do more athletics for health (swimming, biking..)
erm.. no.. not really.. i do bike everywhere, but i wouldn't classify that as enough to be healthy. and i didn't swim even once.. but to take charge of my health i was able to change my Health Insurance, so that i can now actually go to a Dr when there's a need (ie no deductible).

a card to share

2010-12-19T05:34:00.000-08:00

this really cute card came in the mail this week, and i just HAD to share it. the dove on the front is also an ornament.. and i'm pretty sure A.B. made it herself (she makes these awesome cards, and i am always soo impressed when one comes in the mail). i don't have a christmas tree, but i am hanging it on my aloe evera plant (its really big) until christmas eve, then i'm taking it with me to christmas at the boyfriends, and adding it to their tree (or whatever houseplant they have instead).

Nikolaus

2010-12-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

today was Nikolaus, the day when German kids wake up to find sweets in their shoes, and the day of my annual Jesus Freaks action.. we went out to the homeless on werder platz with gifts. here a photo summary:

i got stuff for 25 gifts.. warm things, long underwear, socks and a hat or shall per gift.

we packed them up.

and took them to the streets..

people on werder platz were excited to get them!

they also got homemade cookies (i like to bake)

and coffee and tea.

we also invited them to a christmas service and party.

we were able to have some really good conversations, and even pray for a few people.

where are you?!

2010-11-18T13:31:00.000-08:00

that's the question i have been asked a LOT this week, and i guess it's fair, since i was supposed to have been deported on monday and never really got around to telling anyone that plans changed... but really, if i HAD been deported, i would of bloged/facebooked/stirred up international news coverage/ cried about it everywhere.

so yeah, i am [still, for now] in germany. and i have delayed the packing up of my personal items [for now] but haven't brought the stuff back that had already been banned to the basement either. they have a stack of new paperwork from me an inch thick (i hope the german government recognises my hat tip to bureacracy in that) and will be taking a while to get through it all. so they gave me a stay through january.

looks like i won't be "home" for christmas.. instead i'll be staying home.

ministry wise... winter is upon us, making street work that much more miserable. every winter i wonder why i do this.. but i guess i can't stop either. there's just something about the hopelessness. as every year i am now collecting warm things to be passed out as part of my st. nicks day action... the german kids get gifts in their shoes on the 6th of december, i am trying to do the same for the homeless (like, you know, SOCKS in their shoes..) if anyone feels like donating a little extra for socks/blankets/thermal undies/ hats/gloves/scarves....you get the picture.. drop me a line and i'll give you my paypal details. or come on over and help me pass things out! (i have a fold out bed and a sofa, but warning i snore).

and also i was thinking of cooking a thanksgiving meal over at the salvation army this year. since i don't know when thanksgiving is, and no one here cares i will just pick a random day in the next week or two.

News on Visa

2010-11-02T02:37:00.000-07:00

so.. pardon the lack of new posts.. ministry has been suffering a bit under the necessity of taking care of business. there is n point building up my project while my future is hanging by a thread...

for the uninitiated:
the german government has been giving me trouble about my visa since april, calling me in every few weeks and not renewing me. at my last appointment, they told me that they could only renew my visa if one of two things happens: i get a job (which until now i wasn't allowed to do) or get engaged... so now last week a letter came saying that they intend to deport me, and that i have until nov 10 to add any reason they shouldn't to my file. If not, then i have to leave by the 15th. *panik*

the current stance:
i have gotten a lot of legal advice from the friend of a friend in berlin (H), and am now taking a lawyer here in karlsruhe. The Jesus Freaks set up a Task Force (TF) of four people who are helping me structure my files and thoughts and plan a strategy. Because part of the test that the gov't sent me rejected my MTh program, I contacted the school (MBS) about an explanation of their curriculum that describes it as "comparative" to a German institute. MBS not only is writing such a document, they also have been brainstorming ways to help, like my TF. MBS called the gov't this morning to ask specific questions and find out what else they could do to help. MBS then wrote a letter on my behalf that i can send, and also structured the letter that i am supposed to send asking for a hearing (because, as MBS said it "we're better at legaleez") so that i just have to sign it and send it in. H has recommended that i get a lawyer (L) and that the best chance i have at this point is to get someone to offer me a job doing my ministry basically through their organisation and filtering my financial support, essentially giving my ministry a form that the gov't recognizes. the TF is talking to their contacts and one of my supporters has an organisation that does this type of thing (V) and they are considering the option. this option would mean that i need to raise my support level by about 400e in order to be paid what i am now (Germans have a lot of taxes). The TF is meeting again tonight, V is speaking to her contacts today, and my appointment with L on thursday. in addition, Z is considering the option of a limited financial "buergschaft"- basically a contract that he would be responsible if i got into a financial jam.

on the side i am cleaning out my junk and packing things i don't use regularly into the basement, so that if i should have to leave the country in two weeks my room would be in a state that it could be rented out for the time. if i did leave, i would most likely be going to switzerland to work with punks in zurich and continue to study there (MBS has a school there and i have contacts to a christians doing punk ministry). Or maybe i'd fly home for a few weeks first (M2M have made an offer of help).

life's busy.

still alive..

2010-10-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

hey.. since not much has been going on that i deemed blog worthy, i have kinda been neglecting this space. in not so blog worthy news, a lot has been going on.. i am still fighting for my visa, but there is nothing new about that.

i started my masters of theology, which i feel will help me further my ministry. it's challenging, yet a lot of fun.. i really love the different style of challenge. my brain hasn't done school work in.. uhm, a decade. wow... that makes me sound old. i am currently memorizing 150 verses from the New Testament (although a "verse" according to my schools definition is usually 2 or more literal verses (up to half of Romans 8 counts as "one verse") oh, and those are in German, of course.. as is the reading and my papers.... so i am actually learning "proper" German after 12 years of street-slang German.

it's getting cold outside! that means it is harder to find my people on the streets, but when i do, they are more thankful for the coffee than usual. i am hoping that there will be some deeper conversations starting, now that i have been working with the same group for about a year it seems time for a breakthrough.

the pic is a very special birthday-christmas-birthday package that "flew" in ;-)

cold

2010-09-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

so the weather is changing in germany.. it's cold out there.
and i think it's affecting the people. we went out to werder platz again today, but received a fairly cold response.. we basically stood their feeling conspicuous while the clients walked in arches around us. it took about an hour and a half before the first persn even accepted the free coffee. you know something's odd when no one will take a FREE COFFEE. so yeah.. it's cold out there.

the newest.. pray and praise

2010-09-15T05:27:00.000-07:00

so first off, tomorrow is my appointment at the foreign service office about my visa. please be praying for favor and a long-term visa!! (the stress is really getting to me, the uncertainty and always being told to come back in a month...)

i start my Masters of Theology classes saturday... the school had already given me a 30e reduction monthly due to financial need... but i wasn't able to get the job at Salvation Army, so i still couldn't pay the 105e. yesturday i emailed and asked if there was a possibility of any more reduction. today they emailed me back and said that it shouldn't be money that stops me from studying... and asked me how much i could pay. i had had the amount 75e in my head all night, so i did the math on my finances and calculated... with all my set funds, i have exactly 75e more than i need. it leaves me absolutley no room to go out or do anything special, but hey.. it would work. so i wrote, thinking "this is asking too much..." but the school emailed immediately, "OK." is that not great?! i think it's great.

foreign service office.. take 4

2010-08-27T06:53:00.001-07:00

still no visa/ residence perment. this is getting old. i thought having the place in a masters programm would seal the deal.. but it didn't. so i have another appointment on sep 16. please keep praying.

more birthday!

2010-08-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

gram sent me a little love to use at my own discretion... so i got something i have been wanting for a LONG time... this duvet and pillowcase that resemble cardboard boxes. 40% of the proceeds go to help projects working with homeless teens. so a good cause, close to my heart, and some sheets that really are quite "me."

and then a surprise package came from "AB" that really, really cheered me up... i found it on my way out to the foreign service office, and took it to open after. i was glad to have a pick me up! my favorite toothpaste, mints (perfect timing, just ran out!), cuddle socks, an uplifting book and cards, and a princess kit.. the beautiful card in the background: she makes those. yeah. she's that cool. i am totally going to frame them (this is number 2) and hang them on the wall.

so many thanks gram and AB... i am quite taken with my goodies! now excuse me, i need to go cover up with my cardboard sheets and read...

cared for

2010-08-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

this morning i got a special surprise.. a care package arrived from highland baptist church! yeah- i love packages!! and especially this week with being older and the stress of my visa, it's nice to know there are people supporting me, praying for me, and caring. so here's a little look at all my goodies. in case you can't tell:
tom's of maine toothpaste (AWESOME)
ghirardelli choc chips and vanilla extract and measuring teaspoons (lost mine, so having these on a ring is perfect) (my flat mates are already eagerly awaiting the cookies)
bbq spice rub (just in time for the end of grill season!)
taco spice mix (hey, i'm texan, you know i love it)
dried mango (to remind me of the time in africa)
not one, but TWO good coffees.. one is sumatra, the other infused vanilla. and a vanilla coffee syrup for an extra shot!
chai tea and hot chocolate (w/ marshmellows of course) for cold afternoons or guests who don't like coffee (there apparently are such people out there.. i should know, i date one..)
and two beautiful blue and white mugs to serve it in.
reeses pb cups.. well.. disks.. they didnt survive the trip so well, but taste just as heavenly in their new form
brownie and cake and frosting mixes- i'm thinking to share the love with some of the people i work with and bake this for them.

doesn't this spread just make you want to go into missions? the only bad part is... i have to decide what to go try first!

niederlassungserlaubnis

2010-08-23T09:26:00.001-07:00

what in the ?!?!

that really long word is what i need most of all right now. it means permanent residence visa, and i have to go to the foreign service office again this week to fight for one. the battle has been going on since may to get my visa renewed. it's a very stressful process because they could theoretically tell me to leave the country- on sep 1. i still do not meet all of the requirements..

so please be praying!

package

2010-08-10T03:59:00.000-07:00

my first bday gift arrived today, and, since i can't control myself to not open it for a week... here the contents: happy (early) bday me! especially exciting are the Toms of Maine toothpaste and the enchillada seasoning (hinthint).

after stock

2010-08-05T05:31:00.000-07:00

freakstock iis over and i am home again :-(
it was a very good time of seeing my german family again, other friends and making new ones..

especially cool was FINALLY getting mentors! i have had a couple in mind for 5 years that i kept baseing my search on.. i never thought to just ask them, though, because they live in austria. finally my friend said "so? mine live there too." and it hit me.. yeah, we can meet through skype! when i asked them, they laughed. no one had ever asked before. but when i explained to them why, they were quite happy and agreed. i can see this being a great thing.

in addition, this freakstoc was relaxing.. something about only working the 5 hours, and not trying to fit more work into the day.. and having a bed and warm shower... ahhhh.

but i still took in about as much as ever of the festival, if not less... i only went to the one seminar that i translated and the one i led. and the only concert i saw was my friend bens- because he dedicated a song to me. freakstock was all about conversations for me.

even the trip there and back was blessed- on the way, my driver gave me a 5e discount, and on the way home i rode with a security team member of the freaks.

my tank is full, my heart is joyus, forward!!

cornelius and a call to faith

2010-07-20T10:06:00.000-07:00

today i led the salvation army's Bible conversation group again. it's a group for people who are just getting in to the Bible. the passage was Acts 10 (and half of 11) about cornelius.. a rather long passage for this group. its an awesome text, though, because so many key elements are involved. there were 6 of us, and usually this groups (despite it's name) isn't easy to get to talk... but today they fought through the long text, answered my questions, asked their own, and we even had a passionate discussion about baptism. not to mention i had a sheet full of stuffed animals with me..... (if you want to know why, read the passage)

but the real key came at the end. we were talking about faith and coming to God, and i asked flat out, if each of them had already made their personal decision. and they answered (it had been rhetorical, but they didn't get that.. and opened up. also cool.) two immediatly answed that they have- one surprised me a bit because he is known as our skeptic, but what he said shows his heart is on the right place. then one said she isn't sure and will think about the question this week. and one, who i thought was surely on board (he helps out alot, even leading stuff sometimes) admitted that he has not made that decision and is fighting with some thoughts. (the other two are the intern and i, and yeah, we're committed to Jesus)

so this week, be especially in prayer for those two in their decision. maybe the angels will get to party soon!

Sponsors Needed

2010-07-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

in case someone is wondering, if there is anything they can do to support me and my ministry, there is! first.. pray! then..

~ i still need 122e in monthly support from now until the end of the year.
~ for 2011 i still need 302e a month
this money helps to pay for my running costs, the things i need to be able to stay in full time ministry. no luxury cars, i promise (i ride a bike). this is the minimum set forth by the german welfare system.

~ i am looking for people who specifically want to support me as a student of theology. starting in september i will be enrolled, seeing as how this is the only way to get a visa. my tuition is 300e monthly plus books, of which 200e will (hopefully) be covered by the salvation army for the work i do there. studying will prepare me even better for my ongoing ministry.

~ the open living room is starting, and needs a few larger items (refrigerator, oven, furniture, maybe a dishwasher) any one time gifts towards these things would be appreciated. if you aren't familiar with my vision for this space, please take a look at the photos and texts below.

remember that thing i planned to do here?

2010-07-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

you know the one.. the open living room i kept ranting about. i think i posted my vision for it three times. well. i kinda started doubting. i mean, come on, i've been in karlsruhe a year already. that's way to long to not have everything i ever thought of in place and working at 200%... right? or maybe i am still learning patience and trust. (do we ever get past the learning stage?!)

so i was sitting in karlsruhe, thinking about whether or not i had made a huge mistake moving here, and if i had not, in fact, felt a calling to open this space for ministry.... and about a half hour later, i hear my name being yelled repeatedly. (i was at gospel tribe for street work and had just met with the head honcho) so i go into the hall, and am immediatly caught up in a whirlwind of people talking all at once, grabbing at calenders and making an appointment... still not quite understanding why.

and then they explained it: in that span of time, while i was busy doubting, they'd been offered and decided to most likely accept the store next door as a rental space for six months. they wanted to meet with me a week later to discuss, pray, and plan what exactly this project will be.

so we met, we prayed, and we discussed.... and i think we have a pretty cool plan for starters. it's a smaller start, of course, than my full vision... but this is a jumping off place. we will be seeing what works and doesn't, what we have and still need, etc. this is going to be fun (and by fun i mean a lot of work)!

here are some pictures to help you visualize it:

walking in.. the counter will be taken out leaving just a room.

the look to the left (and notice how awesomely wide the windowsills are: perfect seating. add some couches and comfy chairs..)

look to the right (and take in the beautiful floor)

the middle room/ walk-through room. i'm thinking a more serious space, tables and chairs.

the back room (we didn't even know was there!) which will be for counseling and occasional overnight guests from gospel tribe.

the small but nice kitchen (minus the oven and fridge: we need to buy those)

roller coaster week

2010-07-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

the week started with a great surprise- a tshirt from becca in ethiopia! unfortunatly, it fits A better than me.. so he took it.

tuesday i led Bible Study at the salvation army... and wow... i have NEVER had such a hard time! the text was acts 5.. which is difficult enough. but man.. respect to the regular leaders, tough crowd! my own bible study was cancelled that night, so i had a lazy evening with my guy and a pizza.

wednesday i had a meeting at gospel tribe that seemed rather disheartening... but half an hour later everything changed drastically. so... there might be some VERY good news comming later this week. we have another meeting tuesday to finalize it..

afterwards was our grill party for the needy and neihbors, which went over really well. i preached on hosea and God's love. people were nodding, so i think it was ok. there was a smallish crowd, bt it included some strangers that saw our sign our front and came in.. a first!

that night i heard some very very bad news.

thursday some more.. my visa was only extended till september. mainly because i am still lacking the necessary funds.

then i was at the salvation army for cafe treff, but my heart wasn't really in it. while we were cleaning up, though, an african group came and was doing worship. i joined in, singing with them in their native tongue and french. even though i didnt understand half of what i was singing, it raised my spirits. the year i spent in africa really affected me, and their authentic worship still clings to me somehow.

the intern didnt want to see me go home alone and upset about the visa, so he insisted on taking me to dinner. it was a wonderful meal (he even insisted i order seconds, because the portion was small and he assumed- rightly- that i had neglected to eat before going to the visa office). we ended up talking till 4am. in the middle of our theological discussion on some matter or other (not sure which of the MANY throughout the night) i had a "EUREKA" moment. it came when i heard myself, for the third time, sign and say "i wish i could study theology too." you can guess where this is going.....

the next day he took me to meet someone, and it might just be the missing piece of the puzzle of God's plan for me in karlsruhe. more on that when i know... a very very good day, though.

saturday, despite the german world cup victory, was a sad one, as we said good-bye to the bible students from gospel tribe. (and i had a bad migraine).

today was a good church service at the salvation army and time together after.
all in all a very up and down and through a loop week.

recent pics

2010-07-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

my <3 and i at a free outdoor concert in ettlingen.

many thanks to becca for the tshirt from ethiopia.. it's awesome! the amharic writting is definatly cool... it tells a story about solomon.

these photos are from wednesday's grill party at gospel tribe, where we invited people from the neihborhood, the homeless, etc to join us. i preached on hosea.

this week...

2010-06-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

so, there is a LOT going on over here right now, so i am sorry if my updates seem too far apart or uninformative...

~we had a breakthrough with our Bible translation project: we now have contact to a publisher
~there are Bible studies at the salvation army on acts chapter 6
~i have a meeting with the leaders of Gospel Tribe about working together
~i am preaching (on hosea) at a grill party for homeless etc
~there's the cafe meet-up at the sal army
~germany is still in the world cup and the fans are annoying

but the BIG thing.. the MASSIVE thing... the pleaseplease PRAY thing is

the month of june is ending- the month the foreign service office planned to make a decision on my visa status. they haven't called me in for an appointment yet, so i will go to the open hours on thursday. my chances are slim unless God does a miracle.

after grill

2010-06-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

the grill party for the homeless was awesome... but man, i'm beat. it went from 3 till 10:30pm. i would guesstimate we had 20 guests. the food was EXACTLY the right amount- all the meats and salads and cakes were eaten and no one left hungry. we were able to make a few new acquaintances and deepen some of the existing relationships. there is something different about having guests in your own (gospel tribe) back yard. they are opener than at werderplatz.

i spoke... my topic was amos. anyone surprised? cate chose a minor prophet *gasp* ok, so i am predictable. i thought this would be a message they havent heard before (i was right), that it was relevent (talks about God's unhappiness at israels treatment of the needy) and that it would open their eyes to the Love of God (yeah mom, i got your email... odd, i'd already written my sermon!). i was encouraged because they seemed to be listening (i even threw in a non-rhetorical question and got 3 answers), and a lady asked several good questions after.

i am excited about our next grill party in two weeks.. wonder what i'll preach on... *coughminorprophetcough*
and about gospel tribe in general and the way things seem to be going there...

the BBQ gospel

2010-06-14T05:29:00.000-07:00

i am not a very big fan of summer. give me spring or fall.. jeans and a light jacket: perfect. but there is one advantage to doing ministry in the summer: BBQ. this week marks the start of one of the most well received evangelism techniques. we will be inviting all the drug addicts, homeless, punks- whoever we find on the streets- to come to the banquet, grab some meat and potato salad, and hear about Jesus. the advantages are numerous.. we will be on our turf not the streets, we have good food which meats (haha pun) the immediate need, there will be no alcohol, drugs or violence (we hope), and i get to hold a short sermon. the sermon is something we don't do in streetwork, there it is all about one-on-one. the conversations are important- they show our "clients" that we take an interest in them and their ideas. they allow for questions and answers (which can be challenging at times), and they build relationships. but a sermon is different... it allows me to share the gospel in a way that is non-threatening, to talk (mostly) uninterrupted and thus make it to the point, and for the guests to listen and reflect without being scrutinized by their peers. so i am looking forward to it...

but what should i preach on?!

new website up!

2010-06-09T14:15:00.000-07:00

so my brother suggested that having a website would be better than a blog, since i am trying to inform people of my ministry and needs. so, three days later: i have a website! click the title bar to check it out.

june.. and not there yet...

2010-05-31T15:40:00.001-07:00

just an update on my sponsorship... i am at 400e monthly now, with 250e left to go. and it's june. the date about my visa could come any time now. please, if you have been considering sponsorship and haven't pledged yet, now would be a good time to do so..

street work seminar

2010-05-26T13:10:00.000-07:00

today was the first street work seminar in karlsruhe. it went really well, i think. but then again, i am kinda biased, right? i'd prepared about 7 pages of notes and thought i could get through it in an hour. i was wrong... it took, well, several. but the participants seemed engaged and interested most of the time, and i felt like i had presented them with a good general overview. we covered

- why do we go out (Biblical perspective)?
- how do we go?
- who do we meet?
- what can we offer?
- what can't we offer?
- the main drugs we run into
- the main deseases we run into
- the path away from the streets
- the do's and don'ts
- common mistakes to watch out for

open living room

2010-05-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

click on this to see my vision for karlsruhe (in case you missed it or are new to my ministry)

what i still need..

2010-05-21T08:18:00.001-07:00

just some more visa info updates..

the german gov't said i need 650e in monthly support. at the point they said that i had less than 1/6 of that..

so with the 250e in support i now have, i am feeling a little better...

but i still need 400e in monthly support by june. monthly. so if you or someone you know is suffering from wanting to support a missionary, i'd love to hear from you. :-)

ps: i am also very thankful for the few one-time gifts that have gone in lately, they have helped immensely with some bigger bills i had!

street work seminar postponed

2010-05-19T09:06:00.001-07:00

since my voice hasn't made it home yet from the jesus freaks leadership weekend, i was sent home early today... from a seminar i was supposed to be leading on street work. sooo... it'll be next week. i guess pray my voice comes back.. it should be then, though..

no coincidence

2010-05-12T12:02:00.000-07:00

today i was back at werder platz doing street work.. this week the gospel tribers weren't able to go out, so i led a small team (2 others). armed with coffee, we hit the fountain and attempted to talk to people..

which wasn't working too well at first. but then i saw the notorious Fibs, and was able to use some pantomine to get him to come over and say hi. he's kinda difficult to grasp, sometimes he is alright, but others he can be quite belligerent and difficult. today he was more than ok, he was clear and friendly.

somehow i ended up saying that i'd really like a place where i could cook for the fringe groups once or twice a week, a place where we could get into more serious conversations. kinda like cafe chance was in bremen.. a christian drug counseling center. he offered to take me around and show me the programs that are in place so far, and said my idea would be well recieved, there isnt much in karlsruhe like it.

suddenly he went off a bit and stopped a lady on a bike, then called me over. turns out, she is the head of the street work team for the diakonie (a big organization). we made an appointment to talk more next week, but she already suggested a few places where i could make a difference... and said she'd put in a good word for me with the pastor of the church on werder platz. they have a big kitchen and meeting room, and there's a chance i could use it for a soup kitchen!

i don't think today was a coincidence. i think it was God working, opening doors. maybe the first step towards my open living room?

no visa

2010-05-07T02:49:00.001-07:00

they didn't extend my visa today.
but, that may not be all bad. i can stay until june, and then get another appointment to decide my fate.

that gives me a few more weeks to gather sponsors.. i only have 208e of the required 650e covered at this point.

and the decision they are making is whether or not to grant me a PERMANENT residence visa with work permit. technically, there's a major flaw in my application: its required to pay 60 months of social security.. which, of course, not haveing a job, i haven't done.

but keep praying, and maybe i'll get it and be practically german. :-)

money and presents

2010-05-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

ok, i hate to do this.. but the german government is kinda forcing me.. they need to see proof that i am making 650e a month in donations in order to let me sty here. they wont just let me get a part time job. sooo...

anyone who decides that sponsoring me to do what i do (ie work with homeless, drug addicts and punks on the streets of germany) and can send me a written promise of that this week (to be sure, maybe email a pdf and mail a real paper) of at least 10e a month for a year will recieve a little thank you gift from me.. something i sew or some chocolates i make myself or something. it'll be nice. but cheap, just something i make. (have to be a good steward of the donations, right?) if you want to sponsor me and don't already have my adress, leave me your email in the comments or write me at que_tea (its a hotmail and a com address.)

thanks!

i sewed that!

2010-05-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

its a steosaurus i made for a certain family member and a purse for me.

foreign service office..

2010-04-30T00:51:00.001-07:00

ok, so far nothing is really settled. yesturday they gave me a temporary paper that allows me to be in karsruhe until they can figure out if i get a visa or not. and my appointment for THAT is next friday. please keep praying!

visa

2010-04-29T00:35:00.000-07:00

although my paperwork hasnt arrived yet, and i havent been called back to the foreign service office, my visa runs out tomorrow.... sooo... i am on my way to see about an extension. don't really know what to expect.

the parable of the lost ring

2010-04-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

i had a chance to really get into and identify with some of the parables in luke 15 today. ok, so they are about sheep, coins and sons.. but they are all about loss, too.

i came out of a shopping center, tired and unsuccessful (i have a gift certificate i am desperately try to buy t-shirts with.. if i ever find any decent ones.. otherwise i'll be forced to wear sweaters all summer) and headed to my donkey (my bike.. its "prophet" brand.. and kinda reminds me of the story of balaam, thus the name). but my key was gone! i keep my keys on a carabeaner on my belt loops. house keys and suitcase key (such a useless key post 9-11) were all there, but the one i needed the most, the one that would unlock my bike and let me sit down and glide through the spring breeze home, that small but important to me key was missing. i needed to get my spare to then bike around and look for the key. (yes, i have a spare and still planned to go look for it.)

so i carried my bike to the tram station, bought a ticket (grr.. i have a bike to avoid paying public transportation.. biked all winter through the snow, and now the first nice week, i take a tram!) and carried my bike home on it. oddly, no one stopped me or asked me why i was carrying a locked bike, and if i could prove ownership. so i got home and realized...

not just the bike key was gone. that would be annoying, but i have a spare. something much more valuable was gone: my RING. this isn't just any ring. kate would remember it from brussels. its the ring i got there, one i kinda felt was a gift from God, because i'd wanted a ring for awhile and i found this one- and the hostel said i could keep it. it's two rings really, one on top of the other, and the top spins. great if you have a boyfriend with restless hands, who otherwise turns your fingers till they hurt..... not that i do.....

so i prayed, and seeing as how internet was on for a few seconds, shot off an email to said boyfriend and a few friends who were on chat, and set off to find it.

i searched everywhere.. most likely i thought it would be at werder platz, (where i do street work) since i had been there earlier. nothing on the ground. i decided to ask the police. (odd side note: i felt for awhile i should introduce myself to them but had been to shy.. got my chance.. they didn't have the ring, but now know i do street work)

practically walking all the way to the shopping center, i was feeling less and less hopeful. i went in anyway, and asked at the information desk:

"ja, hi, uhm, i lost my ring and bike key.."
"yes."
"did someone maybe turn them in?"
"a ring and a..."
"bike key"
"yes" and she smiled really big.

i seriously cried, i was so happy. i kept saying "thank you God, oh thank you Jesus" all the way home.

so for anyone still reading...
i think i understand how the lady in luke 15 felt when she found her coin. i am emailing everyone back to say i found it and blogging it (just as soon as i have net) and am rejoicing. and her drachma was about a days wages. that doesn't seem like much. my rings probably worth less. i'd guess 30$. i don't really know. maybe even less.

anyone actually read this far and have a story they want to share? isn't it great to find things? isn't even more awesome to know what the parable stands for- that if these earthly things can mean so much to us and we search them out with such persisstence, how much more we mean to God.

update.. quick

2010-04-09T07:02:00.001-07:00

so in case anyone is wondering why i haven't updated my blog or responded to emails in awhile, there are two reasons...

first, my flat mate had some outstanding dept with the phone company, so they have disconnected our service (and internet).

second, andreas took me to paris over easter! so i haven' t been in town..

quick update

2010-03-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

ok, so i have been neglecting to write. sorry! i have had a lot going on..

ministry wise, our outreaches on werder platz were really difficult the past few weeks, but tonight we saw a breakthrough. we stayed out an hour longer than normal because the conversations were sooo good. i had a great drug counseling conversation with one guy and another good one about God.

personally, i am again facing that pesky little task of fighting the german authorities for my visa. i have already been in and working on it, and i go in again tomorrow again. the tasks of this week are: 1. get my residence changed (finally got my rent contract! i moved in in sep..) and 2. get the foreign services office to request my paperwork from bremen. my visa is good till april 30, so i thought i am fine time wise.. they aren't as sure. they said it will be a tight fit. please pray they get it fast enough and can process me by april 30.

also.. as always.. i do not exactly qualify for a visa. now i am in a new, more conservative city... so speaking in human terms, i am in trouble. i guess that's where it's good to have God on your side. i am still kinda scared, though.. it would NOT be good to have to move to switzerland at this point (nothing against the swiss.. it's just soo far away...)

the other personal thing is, andreas and i have been dating for two years now!! yeah! to celebrate (and....?!?!) he has invited me to go to paris over easter weekend.... *hope*

back from borgentreich

2010-03-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

this is the building that the Jesus Freaks rent.. it is part of an old military base that the coptic church rents. if you don't know who they are... well, neither did i. apparently they were the first believers to split from the catholic church. you can wiki them for more info. the place is a real mess.. it stood empty and unrenovated for a decade or so. so the freaks are fixing it up.. and since the guy doing most of the repairs, bernd, is from karlsruhe, i went along a week early for the counseling seminar to help. i kinda figured i would be just hanging out with God, since i am not really the most knowledgeable person when it comes to water, gas, and heating issues. but bernd is a very, very good teacher. he was able to explain things to the point where i felt i was able to help out and not just be in the way. and when he was doing things i couldn't be of help on, i cooked. (yeah yeah, gender roles and all..) it ended up being a great week, and i was almost sad when the other freaks arrived. next time we will be installing some showers.

the seminar was great, too, though, and it was good to see some old friends and make some new ones. the topic was psychological disorders.. we focused on an overview (a lot of people had no previous knowledge) and then did a more intense study of five disorders. of course we were looking at it from a non-professional standpoint. it was rather interesting. i went into the group on schizophrenia since i have had rather a large amount of contact with that particular disorder. it was a great and motivating review..and now i am quite tired, but back home. oh.. and here's bernd with the chili sauce we made from rubish (we ate all week from thrown away vegetables)

borgentreich

2010-02-28T13:39:00.000-08:00

so.. now on to the next thing.. you can continue praying for the meeting with the salvation army, nothing has really been decided yet.. and for my foot, the pain came back a bit but i am hoping it's just stressed a little and will go back to the state of healing it was n last week!

now i am off on a moments notice to borgentreich (by kassel) for a Jesus Freaks counseling seminar this coming weekend... i have to go early and will be helping lay water pipes and what not at the old army base we use..

prayer request

2010-02-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

for sunday, please pray for my conversation with the salvation army regional leaders.

the hot wax gospel

2010-02-21T16:07:00.000-08:00

since there have recently been some people reading my blog who don't know me well or for long, i have to explain this story.
in the summer of 2007 i was at a christian festival as a drug counsellor... there a freak accident happened, and i ended up spending the next 13 months on crutches. basically it was some very bad hyperextended ligaments and a break they missed on the xrays for a year.the pain never went away. i had "good days" and even weeks (meaning the pain was at a noticable but mostly tollerable level) and "bad days" or weeks, where the pain was so bad that i couldn't think of much else... this has gone on since. sometimes, i'd go too far on a good day, and it would turn into bad weeks.. bad enough to have to grab the crutches again for a month or so. the last month i spent on crutches was october 2009.

let me define "too much" (i am going somewhere with this and find the detail relevant.. if you don't, feel free to skip a paragraph or two) i couldn't stand for more than a few minutes at a time. walking was better, i could usually manage about 5-10 minutes. sitting was ok, as long as my foot was elevated and i wasn't wearing a shoe to weigh on the ligaments. laying down was also good, if i had a down blanket balled up at the end of the bed to support the ankle and was careful when turning over to lay it back in a stable position. i am not talking about "at first" but rather the on-going conditions. i would wake up on average five times a night from pain. every night. movement was a generally bad idea.. flexing, rolling, toe wiggling.. all hurt to do still.

before the accident my daily routine consisted of me walking all over town and talking/praying with the homeless and drug addicts. i was on my feet about 6 hours at a time. (ok, less in summer.. we could sit..) after the accident i had to stay at home and have people come to me. you never really notice how MUCH a foot is worth. what are you doing with your feet right now? i bet a week ago, it would of meant pain for me.

some time ago i was given a donation anonomosly for my foot. i thought and prayed about it.. it wasn't enough to pay the physicle therepy i needed. but i had this idea to get a paraffin wax bath. the idea wouldn't leave me alone, so i searched ebay and spent a few weeks trying to win a cheap one. it got here last thursday and i plugged it in. my expectations were that it might feel good to use it. that it might even feel better for a few hours after. that if the wax melts fast enough, it might be something i could do at night before bed, or in the morning when its so stiff. maybe just a little break...

it felt good. i like the heat. and the dull throb wasn't there when i finished. i felt great. better than expected- way better. i starting telling my flatmate about it before i'd even gotten the oily stuff washed off my foot. then we headed out of the house, and i grabbed my bike... and as i rode i noticed i had the full normal range of motion in my foot when peddeling (usually i flat-footed it) i started discribing it to my flatmate and insisting she should watch me peddle. we were at a friend's art show and after talking to him about each piece, i told him how long we'd been standing already with a huge smile on my face, asking if he can believe it?! later that day i was at steiger and went from one room to the next and back again telling everyone the surprising effects of the wax. and then later, when i met a group of virtual strangers for sushi, i somehow managed to turn the conversation on to wax again. and so on.. i'm afraid to say, i got MORE obnoxious, not less.. every hour, every day. friday to my boyfriend, saturday at a birthday party, sunday at church... the more i noticed i could do without the pain returning, the more i had to tell people about. and i am still doing things, just because i can.. and telling about it... just because i can.

I HAVE HAD NO PAIN SINCE 3PM THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you, paraffin wax! thank you donation! thank you Jesus!!!

and it's made me see a large portion of the Bible in a very clear way, very suddenly: the Gospels. we read the stories all the time of Jesus healing the sick woman/child/man who is blind-lame-possessed... and up till now i would read it and think "yeah, thats cool." (in a monotone) and now i read it and i think "OH YEAH!!!! BOO-YAAA!" because i can understand it from the perspective of the one being suddenly healed. especially the stories where the persons faith isn't mentioned.. i really feel like the one's who are kinda "oh well, tried everything else, might as well try some Jesus.. he might make me feel a bit better for a few hours." and then BAM- you can walk... run.. jump.. dance! (and yes, i have done all these and more in the few days) and it is LIFE CHANGING. nothing is the same. nothing could ever be the same, because now, NOW all those things that weren't doable ARE. all that pain is GONE. all the depression and feeling of inadaquacy and fear is GONE. all of the dependence on others to carry stuff or slow down or adapt to you nullified. suddenly, LIFE is easier.

so you want to scream it from the mountain tops... make an infomercial... tell all your friends, and their friends, and their friends friends.. about IT- the thing that changed your life. the thing that made you smile again. the thing that brought you back closer to your loved ones. the thing that you needed for so long and finally found... you want them to find it too.

that's what i hope my faith is. every day. not about paraffin wax baths (although please, if you have chronic pain, try it out!) but about JESUS. i hope that's the thing people remember about me after a day at the sushi circle or a visit to the museum or a conversation on the cold street corner. the way that knowing Jesus has impacted my life. because He has done a lot more than that paraffin wax bath has.. and look how much i had to say about it.

mediteranean karlsruhe

2010-02-18T06:13:00.000-08:00

after being treated to a very romantic and delicious morokkan meal for valentines day, i wanted to relive some of the flavors and excitement.. so i invited my japaneese flatmate to lunch and hit the kitchen.. pure homemade luxury:

melitzanosalata (greek eggplant dip), hummus, olives (set with garlic last night), mint-yogurt sauce, sheeps-cheese, salad with cucumber, yellow bell pepper, red onion, and on tortillas (a rare find here)...

brrrrrrrr und grrrrrrrrr

2010-02-17T11:25:00.000-08:00

street work today was rather miserable. i know i am probably supposed to be super happy that i was able to go out in the freezing drizzle and not talk to people... but well..... it kinda seemed pointless today. the intro kinda summed it up: its literally freezing, yet it was alternatively raining and snowing... mush on the streets (scary to bike in..). and due to the weather (?) also almost nothing going on. still, coffee and tea in tow we headed out to werder platz (with a rather small group today.. we were down by 3) and no one was there. at all. we waited. and waited. and started to have our toes go numb. and then chrissy came.. he ws so drunk that he won't remember it by tommorow. he was rather obnoxious, too.. made fun of me the whole time and did tricks on me.. usually i look forward to talking with him, and have had some really good conversations, so it was especially disappointing. oh well. maybe we had just gotten too used to the exceptionally good weeks we've been having this year.

on the bright side, someone from Gospel Tribe bought me some black olives and goat cheese. so i am off to make hummus and then eat wraps..

butterflies in boxes

2010-02-05T15:38:00.000-08:00

a few weeks ago i "met" A.B. (name shortened unless she gives permission or outs herself in the comments) through some comments on a blog we both read. then we exchanged a few emails, and she said she would like to send me a package. i tried not to get my hopes up.. i've heard the same thing a few times before. (cough..konspiracy...cough) she even asked if there is anything i particularly want. anyone who knows me should have a few things in mind already that i answered... i'll just let the pictures do most of the talking.. except to say have you ever seen a bottle of vanilla extract that big?! oh yeah baby, someone's going to go crazy in the kitchen!!

i had tears in my eyes when i was unpacking this stuff.. i mean seriously, a stranger just had it on her heart to bless me... and wow, i am feeling it. (not to mention the trip to the post office helped me get some answers: mom, i think everythings going to be ok) so here it is:

yes, i am a total tom's of maine junkie (i blame my sister-in-law for getting me hooked). and can you believe germany doesn't do peppermint candy??

drug counseling!

2010-02-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

today was street work again with "gospel tribe" (none of the actual gospel tribers were there..) and it was an awesome time.. things keep getting better and better.. today i got into a great conversation with a woman about my age who is trying to get off drugs.. she keeps breaking off her detox close to the end. i encouraged her, and she said she was told by social services to find a drug counsellor, but that she doesn't like the way they talk to her like she is never going to make it, that they aren't helpful like me.. so i offered that she can meet with me if she'd like. and she would! so, be praying that nadine comes friday. (i am slowly taking over the salvation army... mWUhahaha,, no, just kidding..but christin is letting me do the drug counseling there).

mr smith auf deutsch

2010-01-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

andreas just wrote me that his father was taken suddenly to the hospital tonight.
he didn't say more (grrr) and so i am asking for prayer for whatever to not be serious and for him to get better soon.

salvation army and salvage market

2010-01-28T12:27:00.000-08:00

this week i have been really busy working at the salvation army. christin is not what you would call organized.. her office was a dump (literally) and there weren't enough cabinets to hold things.. (notice the past tense) so yesturday i dragged her to a second hand furniture store and helped pick out some furniture that would work for her space. i guessed measurements by eye-balling, and everything fit perfectly! we got a lockable thing for binders and i repurposed a big wardrobe into storage space, and we added a coffee table and two chairs. then we spent the rest of the day and today and tomorrow moving everything out of the office, setting up the furniture in a new way (i made a fake wall out of all the cabinets and hid allt he stuff she doesn't need but can't trash in labeled boxes behind it) and ORGANIZING it. i wonder if my skills in this area are marketable? i forced her to throw out a lot of useless stuff, and threw some stuff out when she wasn't looking that just needed to go (seriously? ALL the empty bags and boxes she wants to store?! ALL?!?! and the broken microphone?! and the cassette tapes and floppy disks?!) quite a fun time.

and then i headed off to the indoor salvage market (like a huge garage sale) that is a three day a year tradition in karlsruhe. imagine a room the size of a soccer field........ i made a list so as not to get distracted and buy too much. on the list: gloves for biking in winter, a black knee-length wool coat in a modern style, and an electric coffee grinder (not chopper). well, i didn't get the gloves. but i got the rest!!! and paid.. drumroll please.. 6.50! to give you an idea.. the coat alone costs 150e and up in stores. on ebay i havent seen it go for under 50e. and it is BETTER than any i tried on in stores. thinner but warmer. with a modern, feminine and slimming cut. and the coffee grinder is from the leading brand (krups).

and then i headed over to steiger to teach englisch.. and was blessed by being bought a doener and coke for dinner. and someone else said she felt she should give me 20e. just like that! it was a good day. a good week. oh- and at street work yesturday it was -12 degrees... and yet people came... and they came because they knew we would be there! there is starting to be a real acceptance and appreciation of us, and we had another evening of AWESOME conversations with the werder platz people. karlsruhe is starting to feel like home.

new housemembers

2010-01-27T04:42:00.000-08:00

toru moved out, and daniel moved in. it looks like a good match for our flat.. he's 26, a photographer, and likes coffee.... a LOT. he even brought me a coffee sack from malawi, since i mentioned i was looking for some cool ones. :-)

our second new flatmate is the miele dishwasher i found on the internet (after months of searching and being disappointed bc they were all WAY out of my price range) for 35e!!!!! yep, thats right. its only 7 years old, from the top brand, in great shape, and has all the features you want (like a pull out shelf for silverware instead of basket, and a super-saver program for water and electricity). andreas was getting agrevated at my constant search and as a joke asked sunday on his way out"what? not going to refresh your search page first?" and so i did.. and there it was! best part? we picked it up ON FOOT because it was on our street!

street work high

2010-01-20T13:35:00.000-08:00

wow... i am flying! today was so increadible! like every wednesday, i went out with gospel tribe and the salvation army to werder platz. there were 5 of us (1 from sal army, me, and three gospel tribe). it was no longer freezing and snowing, which was a plus just from the get-go. it also meant there were more people on the streets for us to talk to.

we'd been praying to run into uwe and his girlfriend evelyn again this week.. last time we gave him a Bible. and they came! turns out they are from another city and just "happened" to be here twice on a wednesday evening. i was able to make a real connection and give a testimony of God's love to uwe, and evelyn talked for the first time! she had been kinda hanging back and very shy.

we also met romeo.. he had been around before, but always declined a coffee or conversation. this time he came because christin was playing guitarre. he left his bike unlocked, and went into the bakery to ask for milk (we didnt have any more for the coffee). when we were leaving and he still hadn't come back, i said they should wait while i go let him know. this simple act touched his heart so much, that he opened up a little and asked for prayer for himself and his children.

there were a handfull of similar stories today.. which is actually rather unusual. we are generally happy if even one of us has a good conversation. today we ALL had them.. and i had at least 3!! God is really working in people's hearts.

open living room

2010-01-09T18:34:00.000-08:00

ok.. i mentioned in my last post that a main goal for this next year is to make the "offene wohnzimmer" come into being, not just as a plan but as an actual ministry. surprisingly, no one asked what that means.

well, i am going to tell you anyway :-p but for now, i will keep it short.

my vision for karlsruhe is to create a space that is a cross between a living room, a cafe, an arts center, a social work center, and a church. make sense? basically, it will be a cafe with no prices. if people can pay, they are encouraged to make a donation. if not, then they should just drink free. there will be no waiters, but rather a coffee bar where people can serve themselves (and thus not feel self-consious about not having money). the people "working" there would just be hanging out, basically. it will be set up like the coolest living room. i have a whole concept about the appearance, but i said i would keep it short. i'll just say this: mary poppins tea-party.

the arts part comes into play also a bit with the furnishings, and also with the wall space- giving local (christian) artists a space to exhibit their work... and maybe sell it. also on fridays there would be various events... small concerts, theater performances, indie films, open-mic... these would also be "fed" by the christian community. (i am not talking about the story of jesus every week though) some performances would come from workshops led by myself or other volunteers.. like i can see starting an improv theater group with local teens, making documentaries with the punks, or working with some of the homeless on a poetry-slam. and so on. these workshops would all be free and take place every saturday. maybe more, if we have more volunteers.

everything in the place would be for sale- but not for profit. it would be based on a sliding-scale. thus, a punk kid just out of rehab would pay 5 bucks for a chair and a banker would pay 50 for the same chair. we would get the furniture from the trash, and refurbish it. i have a friend who is a carpenter and wants to take on two unemployed people as apprentices and teach them to do these restorations, helping them learn a trade and make a little extra money.

the idea is that we would be restoring. the trashed furniture would gain a new life through the carpenters, and the people in the community would be restored in spirit through their contact with us. (we hope) obviously, it is a bit more subtle way of reaching people with the gospel. but i feel in europe that the most important thing is for people to trust and to then be able to open their hearts- and learn that the message of the Bible is one of LOVE.

trust me. i could say a LOT more. like about the counseling, soup-kitchen, single-moms group, kids homework help, emergency apartments, shower and washing machine, etc that are in this plan... but i will stop here for now. i am open to comments and questions, and of course, if you feel God is placing it on your heart to pray for this project or you would like to support it financially, i would be very happy to hear from you!

looking ahead.. 2010

2010-01-03T07:22:00.000-08:00

looking ahead.. 2010

ok.. goal setting for the coming year. i do this as a way to help me stay accountable, and also to let others know what direction i am heading in in ministry and personal life.

ministry:
~to do street work 2 times a week
~to get more involved with gospel tribe
~to find ways of working with the salvation army, if possible
~to find a church where i can begin preaching
~to make a new film for a festival that carries a subtle christian message
~to further develope the "offene wohnzimmer" ministry concept that i have been working on in 2009 and take steps to start making it a real ministry, not just a concept in development.

personal:
~to start a masters of theology program through distance learning (barring finances: to continue to take the online classes and complete at least 6)
~to memorize large passages from the Bble
~to find a new mentor
~to do more athletics for health (swimming, biking..)
~to get married! (is that a goal?)

rewind 2009

2010-01-03T07:04:00.000-08:00

short overview of the highlights:

january through april, bremen
there was a lot that had to be worked through due to the circumstances we were left in by matze's actions. we tryed for a long time to salvage the hope house, but when there was no way left, we came to terms with the end and began making other arrangements. there is no easy way to discribe these months.

may through july
i moved to karlsruhe and began working with steiger and looking for a room in a flat (part 1).
started setteling in, meeting people, getting to know the city.
went to a seminar, wedding, and festival.
desperatly started looking for a new apartment, because the old one was... not good...

august through october
turned 30.
went to england as my present to see josh ritter (and also met the glorious undead).
was told i could have a perfect apartment. and after finding someone for my room, told i couldn't have it because the landlord didn't like the way steiger sounded.
frantically searched and found another place. moved. all in a week.

november and december
met gospel tribe and the salvation army and started doing things with both.
sewed a lot of baby stuff for friends.
finished the Bible.
celebrated christmas at andreas' parents and new years with my steiger friends.

2009

2010-01-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

ok, anothor year has passed.. so get ready for a series of long post dedicated to analyzing it and summing it up. this is primarily for the missions committee, since i know you guys want to know what i do ;-)

in 2009 i set the following goals. the goals will be in italics, and the response underneath:

ministry:

~to host on average one guest a month for months spent at the hope house
technically, yes, we had more guests than that even. i spent 4 months at the hope house, moving to karlsruhe on may 1. in march we made the decision to end our contract on the house due to the circumstances at that time. we still managed to host a few guest, even if they weren't homeless.
in february for the jesus freaks bremen 10 years party we had a full house.
march saw the russian girlfriend of our matze-replacement come to stay.. and stay.. and stay... trying our patience a bit, and forcing us into hospitality more than we expected.
march brought us sibe, from switzerland for a few days.
i won't count andreas, but he was there a few times, too.

~to get involved with a missions organization
yes.. in fact, with two! starting in may i began volunteering at steiger and getting to know them and the city. i taught german and englisch classes for the staff, cooked many a meal for the house, went on outreaches to the party-szene at euro- cafe, joined in for evangelistic oriental-styled tea parties, and met with a staff mentor for the rest of the year.
towards the end of the year, i met a group that is very similar, called gospel tribe. i was able to join them for street work at werder platz and the market place for a few months starting in november.
and does the salvation army count in this category? i have some new ties to them..

~to revive the street group Bible study
i guess not.. since i am not in bremen, i am obviously also not still leading the street group.
in karlsruhe i am part of a steiger bible study (and so is andreas!!)
i got a surprise in karlsruhe, when i met the sister of an old street group member. it was very encouraging to hear that she knew who i was, and had heard very good things about me!

~to preach on average once a month
no.. 3 times is all i was able to manage. my last month in bremen was too hectic. and i am too new in karlsruhe to be preaching. still working out what church is the best for me. there are a few options. steiger meets too early ;-) (but i went there mostly) and kubik is awesome, but meets too irregularly. this comming year i may be able to start preaching at the salvation army though, christine's mentioned it twice now.

~to make a new film for PBS
alas, in karlsruhe i don't have any film contacts yet! but.. i was able to get final cut studio (it should arrive any day now by mail..) so i can start editing the film i have. it won't be for pbs, probably just for church or maybe a no budget festival.

personal:

~to start a masters of theology program through distance learning
nope.. still just doing the free courses that i have gotten off the internet/ itunes. the "real" programs are all quite expensive. anyone want to spot me tuition?

~to read through the Bible chronologically
yes- and in german! finished it at thanksgiving. ben from bremen was my reading buddy.. we challenged each other to stay on course, and both made it through.

~to find a mentor
yes and no... kate from steiger international was my mentor through the end of the year. for the new year i will be looking for a new mentor.

~to do more athletics for health (swimming, biking..)
yes- i got a bike when i moved to karlsruhe and it has been my sole transportation this year. (even the time i spent on crutches.. although i got funny looks for it) i even raved the route to andreas' village a few times in the warmer weather- either through the woods or fields. swimming is still too expensive in the south, and i didnt even find a nice lake this summer.

~to get married! (is that a goal?)
closer..?

christmas on the streets

2009-12-23T14:22:00.000-08:00

today we went out to deliver gifts to the homeless at werder platz. i was expecting a small group, but due to flu season and dario throwing out his back, only christine from the salvation army and i could make it. no worries! we made a lot of coffee and tea, prayed and headed out.. we had 26 presents, and were able to pass out 18 of them and have some good conversations. it doesnt seem like a lot- especially compared to the almost 200 gifts we passed out last year in bremen- but karlsruhe is a different place, and the fringe groups aren't as easily accessible. since there were two of us, i think this was a pretty good group.. this way we were able to talk to a few people more in depth and also give two of the men gifts for a wife and kid and an elderly neighbor. afterwards christine took me for pizza and we talked about my vision for the city and where i see myself.. i think good things will come of it. stay tuned...

show what i sew

2009-12-21T14:45:00.000-08:00

kathi opening the blanket i made for her baby boy. these blankets have buttons on them, so they can also be sleeping bags... like for the stroller.

the "boy" side of the blanket i made for damaris' baby.

the "girl" side of the blanket i made for damaris' baby.

my bear jake modeling a baby scarf i made.. it has velcro in back.

a cherry-stone pillow i made for andreas' mom.. you heat it in the micro and it works like a hot water bottle. this one i added pockets to, so she can warm her stomach and hands at the same time.

chirstmas basement party

2009-12-14T14:17:00.000-08:00

yesturday i helped out with gospel tribe's christmas party. we had invited all the poeple from werder platz and the punks from the market, as well as friends we knew from around town. it ended up being an interesting mix! there were awesome cookies, chili con carne, and hot punch. and testimonies, singing and a short sermon. even andreas came along! (disquised as a punk in y leather jacket) it lasted all evening.. and i think a good time was had by all. (despite the fact that it was below freezing for the first time) i am really enjoying the opportunity to work with gospel tribe! i will miss them when they leave for their three month outreaches!

witnessing with waffles

2009-12-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

i just got back from a loooong and cold (barely above freezing) day with gospel tribe. we met up early enough to have been done with prayer and set up by about 9am. if you know me, you know what a sacrifice that was! i started out with a very bad migraine, that woke me up! (ok, it was more effective than an alarm at that hour..) after taking the "blue pill" and waiting an hour, i made it to gospel tribe, shaking and queesy and aparently pale enough to cause several people to ask if i need to sit down. and i did. they prayed, the pill kicked in, and things got better.

so how are waffles a witness? and what of? we passed them out for free at the werder platz to.. well, anyone who wanted one. we also had a hot fruit juice/tea/spices punch that really was good for warmth. the witness we were hoping to make was one of God's love. it was surpirising the various reactions we got- some people were surprised and joyful, some were skeptical and asked what the catch was, some wouldn't even stop long enough to hear what we were offering. every hour we sang some christian songs, did a short theatrical sketch, and had a message. this went until a bit past one.

after our meeting to sum it all up, we were treated to homemade eggplant lasagne from one of the teams mom- a real italian! a real treat to warm up to. then i stopped by a special event at kubik with a friend and came home... a long bike ride in the cold. my fingers are still defrosting and i can't feel my cheeks yet..... it's winter!

this little missionary went to market..

2009-12-09T17:29:00.000-08:00

this has been a pretty cool week. care package arrived, had some company, baked more cookies than i could eat.... but the real highlight was going out wednesday with the gospel tribe. (this is becoming a rather good habit) we went to the marketplace, where the punks hang out. it was the first time in karlsruhe i hung out with the punks. we had coffee and tea and some lebkuchen (kinda cakey type cookies). it was cool because it was a punkers birthday.. and he turned out to be from bremen! it was an immediate connection, and i was able to use that to help us all get into more personal conversations and invite them to the christmas party we are throwing sunday.

cardboard box care

2009-12-07T12:42:00.001-08:00

is there anything better than unexpected packages? i can't think of anything! i am munching some yummy treats while writting this, blown away by how cool it is to be thought of. i love mail!

back in bremen?! erm.. no..

2009-12-02T17:08:00.000-08:00

ok, so this picture is from bremen.. its hans. today i went out again with the gospel tribe to do some street ministry. we hung out at the "werder platz" (which is funny, because the name "werder" is the bremen soccer team name) and i talked to a man that was so similar to hans that it made me homesick for bremen. they could be brothers. they aren't. this guy is a few years older, but has the same build and tone and manner. i think he used to be a doctor, but it seemed like he didn't want to go there, so i didn't ask directly. he travelled a lot and has read a lot. he kept singing the names of the notes we played on the guitarre, since he didn't know the words. one of us would play, and he would sing "a-c-a-d.." if anyone else had done it, it would of been annoying. he was charming. i really hope i get a chance to know him better and help him get to know God a bit.

fall pictures

2009-12-01T04:52:00.000-08:00

homemade spaetzli mit linsen for his birthday

and of course a cake... chocolate-swirl ameretto cheese cake

after a day of obsessive-compulsive cleaning in my flats kitchen..

his advents calender.. with homemade filled chocolates

and of course one for his family, so they aren't jealous.

i made it

2009-11-30T13:18:00.000-08:00

one year ago, i made a commitment. i asked a few people o help me stay accountable. i decided to read the Bible in a year. in chronological order. in german.

i started december 1, 2008. it is now november 30, 2009. it is 22:21.. thus a mere hour and a half until that year is over. and i have just read, "Die Gnade des Herrn Jesus sei mit allen!" (Rev 22;21) thus ends my year commitment.

so what will the new year challenge be? i am thinking of trying to memorize a chapter of the Bible a month (in german). that's 12 chapters by next thanksgiving, basically. anyone want to join me on this challenge? any suggestions for chapters? my first three, i think, will be obadja (the book is a chapter), 2 john (ditto), and psalm 91. i am disqualifying anything i already learned (like psalm 103) or know most of (like romans 8) and will instead review next december all 12 plus my previous memory work. am open for suggestions and others to challenge themselves to this as well (its easier in groups..)

for gram

2009-11-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

some of you may already have seen this and know.. but i thought gram should, too:

thanksgiving came early

2009-11-25T13:52:00.000-08:00

wow! this is a real thanksgiving week.. quite cool.

a while back i met some girls from "gospel tribe" here in karlsruhe (similar to steiger), and they invited me to stop by sometime. so yesterday i went or coffee. in our conversation birgit told me about their outreaches to the alcoholics at werder platz (around the corner from them) every wednesday and asked if i would like to come. sooo....

today i went to join them. it turned out to be cool on several levels.. first, one of the students there is the sister of jenny who i knew in bremen (she often visited the hope house and was in the impro group and street group i led).. she had prayed the night before for God to send her "people" to be friends with- a prayer i have been saying a lot lately.

then we went out to werder platz (a square where a lot of homeless hang out) and passed out coffee and tea and talked to people. it was great to be back in my element a little. i got into a conversation right away with a 39 year old man from kasakastan. he'd just been released from prison, where he had read the Bible.. he had a lot of questions and we had a very interesting conversation. it led me to give him the little Bible i had with me, since he left his with a friend in jail. he took it like a little kid getting a birthday present. it was so cool! and he askd for prayer that he get an apartment when he goes to the state offices tomorro. there were several others too, a guy that reminded me of dirk in bremen, and a girl who was full of life and quite honest and blunt.

i am looking forward to joining their team every week from now on! and i met christine from the salvation army, who several people told me i should meet... i am going their tomoro....

pig flu at steiger

2009-11-20T15:14:00.001-08:00

the first officially diagnosed case of pig flu just turned up in my immediate area: the young daughter, malia, of the steiger leaders was diagnosed today. please be praying for her and that the visur doesn't spread- they live in the steiger house with everyone (including a pregnant woman).

monsters

2009-11-17T16:46:00.000-08:00

taken from a blog i love.. "experimental theology" (from a psych and theology proff)

There are not a whole lot of other options in this broken world. Evil to fight evil. The best you can do is fight mightily within yourself so as not to become a monster in the process. But on this side of heaven we are all monsters. Struggling to hold on to our humanity.

rediscovering passion

2009-11-11T17:25:00.000-08:00

ok, i know i have been a sloppy blogger.. i'm sorry. i should personal apoloize to all 9 of you readers.. it has been an intense time of adjustment to the new ministry and location. i am still trying to find exactly where i fit in. these past few weeks though, my heart has really started to come alive again and begin pounding out it's dreams. i have been doing a lot towards that.. although some of it might seem hard to follow.

first off, i got into some conversations with a few future ex-smokers about substance abuse. it really reminded me why i got into drug counselling in the first place, and that i really have a heart for helping people overcome their addictions (and the various things that cause or are caused by them). i still don't think i will be going back into full time street work in karlsruhe, but i want to get involved a little. the next few weeks i will be checking out where the homeless, junkies and punks are hanging out and start making connections to the local help organizations that are already in place. (my first contact was made sunday... but more on that later) then i want to do the december 6th gifts and feast for them.. (dec 6 is in germany the day nikolaus comes) like the last years, i hope to be able to cook something warm and bake cookies for people, and take gifts of warm things (hats, shawls, gloves, blankets..) and Bibles for anyone in need.. focusing on the homeless, but with open eyes for others who we might meet.

the other thing i really noticed is that i need a creative outlet. i want.. no.. need... to get back into art.. making films and such. my flat mates have really infected me- they are all sculpture students. so i am trying to ebay a final cut studio (1/2/3..i dont care) and start creating again. i have a few old ideas i would like to get around to (like the gang film on the 10 commandments) and a few new ones as well.

and a third thing has come up which i am surprised by a bit.. i have been involved with a LOT of foreigners living in Germany, and have been building more and more connections to them.. it's a group i never thought about reaching out to before, even though i belong to it.. so we'll see..

my flat..

2009-10-06T09:00:00.001-07:00

the new[est] place:

sick messenger and peoples bible

2009-10-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

yeah! today i got not just one piece of mail, but two! the jesus freaks magazine, "the sick messenger" came today.. they sent me a special copy because they printed a short story of mine called "kraftlos" (meaning "powerless") about a homeless woman.. it's part of a longer piece i am working on, and i was quite nervous when they asked me to publish it. still haven't gotten any feedback, so we'll see..

the second thing was a "people's bible".. thats my translation. the guy who started the jesus freaks way back in the 90s has translated the new testament and most of the old into the youth jargon.. its more of a paraphrase like the "message" and then in really funky hip-hop language. i have the new testament, but the old one just came out.. and they held a raffle for all submissions to "the sick messenger" and i won it!! yeah.. so i will be taking a look at that. only thing is it stops before my favorite parts (psalms-they are now raps and minor prophets)

tea time

2009-09-27T11:25:00.020-07:00

last night was the first steiger tea party that i was able to be apart of. the courtyard area was turned into an oriental style tea garden, with fabric hung from the carport cieling and walls, carpets and low cushions to sit on, candles and torches as light.. there was a page full of tea varieties being offered (the best was yogi tea, of course..) and michael stood on the street in front making giant soap bubbles and inviting people in. the rest of us made tea, served people, or sat around talking with our guests. everything was free. i was happy to see a guy i talked to during the last euro-cafe street event came back, and we had some good conversations.. definatly a cool evening (well.. night..it didn't end till around 3am).

josh ritter in oxford

2009-09-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

here's a sample of the concert we flew over to see.

long live the queen

2009-09-26T06:29:00.000-07:00

aparently pirate kidnappings are only a week long.. at least this one was. my pirate returned me to the karlsruhe shores safe and unharmed (well..mostly.. can't say my foot isnt a bit sore). this was definatly the best birthday present i have ever had.. or heard of anyone else having.
the first two and a half days were spent in oxford, where we saw a lot of sights and then biked over to the josh ritter concert (this was the real reason for the whole trip). the oncert was amazing.. he played well over two hours. i had a seat on a sofa for part and then sitting on a little table for the rest. andreas was bored. he claims to like metal.
the rest of the week was spent in london.. where we came no where near to seeing everything. but we did go to the glorious undead church to meet up with some friends of mine.. kameal and his wife (and surprisingly tina, who i forgot lives there). the GU is similar to the jesus freaks, and i knew some of them from freakstocks past. we of course followed church with a visit to brick lane for indian food.
we were also able to attend st paul's cathedral for evensong. but the real highlight in london (for me) was that we were able to (after standing in a line for over an hour) get tickets (for the very best seats in the house) for "as you like it" (the one with my favorite monolgue) at shakespeare's GLOBE!!! (ok, the 1997 rebuild of it)
and.. as if this wsn't enough.. we saw 2 space invaders and 1 banksy!! thats it really for street art.. but we went to a few museums, since they are all free! we saw the tate modern and the national gallery.

kidnapped by a pirate

2009-09-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

tall, dark and handsom has once again swept me off my feet and into a plane..
tomorro i fly to england for a week, and so unless you happen to be meeting up with me there, i guess you just won't hear from me till i get back!!

something new (testament)

2009-08-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

some people might remember that i am reading the BIble through chronologically (more or less) in a year, and have convinced some others to as well.. so today we start in on the new testament (follow the link by clicking on the posts title), so if there is anyone out there who was reading along and fell behind, or wants to start up for the second part.. let me know. its more fun knowing who is reading along, so we can encourage one another and sometimes discuss what we have read..

other new things involve me moving this week within karlsruhe. i got a room at least.. so i guess thats a good thing. i am not too excited about it though. kinda an emergency solution. maybe it will surprise me, though. i'll send my new adress out per mail soon. if you dont get a mail by the weekend and would like my address, just leave me a message (or check the spam filter).

look inward

2009-08-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

i thought i would offer a slight insight into how i am doing right now. basically.. i'm struggling to find the positive aspects with all the difficult things going on recently. i still don't know where i will be moving to next week (although i am now fairly confident i won't need to find a bridge to sleep under); the current project of teaching other missionaries the german language is stressing me out (why don't they study? why don't they go to language school?? i am sooo not a teacher); the long-term project is still so conceptual that i am having trouble believing we will ever get there (have i mentioned it yet? its to have a "open livingroom/cafe/meeting space/church/counseling center/ emergency center/youth club thing...maybe i should do a post on it seperatly); gram's health and my parents well being is on my mind (and i am too far away to really do anything but pray); my health is still unchanged; and there's this guy biding his time (17 months and counting).

and since i don't just want to gripe.. i will sit here until i come up with a good side. [insert long thinking pause] i have been amazingly reconnected with several old friends recently (asaf and gideon from my time in africa, uwe from the ministry in kassel i worked with is now in karlsruhe, i might get to see an old prayer friend from london soon) [more thinking] and also found ways to meet non-ministry germans (ie possible targets for ministry) through couchsurfing club, the apartment search, and the bike shop that fixed my bike for cake (twice). also.. i am almost finished with the old testament! woohoo. (now if i could just do a theology masters and my thesis on minor prophets...) [some praying] and i do believe God has a place in mind for me to live.

thanks for the prayers and birthday greetings. still waiting for that lamborghini to arrive.

apartment update (prayer request) II

2009-08-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

so..i lost the apartment. the landlord called this afternoon while i was at steiger. they said there was nothing i could do to change their minds.
i still have to move out of this place.. sooo... i am looking again (as in actively.. have three appointments for tonight).

apartment update (prayer request)

2009-08-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

so.. i just got back from an exhausting excursion. i went to meet my new landlords at 6pm.. i thought we would be making the rental contract (as did my new flat mate).... but instead, they gave me a form to fill out "selbstauskuenft" (personal information) with things like where i work and how much i make... and they asked a lot of questions. they seemed quite nice, but were worried as to the nature of the steiger verein. then they informed us that there are other interested parties for the apartment, not just me. oops. friends of friends or something. i am REALLY worried. i already told my flatmates here in chaosland that i am moving out (and have been getting the fallout) several weeks ago, and we found my replacement several days ago. soooo... if for some reason i cannot more into this new place, i still have to move out of my current one.. oops.

so i rode from that interview back up to steiger, and asked michael (the boss man) to take time away from his young sick son to write me a reference.. got a good one.. then grabbed some info letters and brochures about steiger, ate their leftovers, and rode all the way back to the new apartment to give them to the landlord.. and then came here. by the way, this is a record ot day in karlsruhe and i rode my bike for about two hours back and forth and back again.. so i am dead tired. but hey..good workout.

so.. please, pray that they decide i am a decent person and a qualified renter and let me move in next weekend!! otherwise i'll be looking for a comfy bridge to put my red sofa under..

i'm old now.

2009-08-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

saturday was my birthday.. and not just any.. i turned *gasp* 30.

friday night andreas took me out for croatian food (meat and more meat) then we headed over to the "socks bar" where we hung out on the patio with about 20 people from steiger. at midnight the waitress brought out a free bottle of champagne to ring in the new year-of-cate. and people started opening bags and putting gifts on the table! i was surprised.. i didnt expect gifts at a party they had to buy their own food and drinks at. when the patio closed, we went to anja's for the after party- she lives around the corner. we got to bed around 6am...

saturday we were kinda beat.. can't imagine why.. so the plan of a day trip to strassburg or a kajak tour got cancelled in leu of hanging out in the garden and going for indian food. my favorite indian place had live bluegrass music (what the?!?!) so instead of the romantic garden, we opted for the quieter inside.. but that put us closer to the evenings buffet :-) my oh my.. i think i ate more than in the entire past year. it was soooooooooooo good (and kate: you must come here and eat with me- its the best paneek paneer EVER).

sunday the big news broke: Andreas is taking me to ENGLAND to a concert of Josh Ritter (my favorite singer of the past 3 years- check him out) in oxford... and since we'll be sooo close he asked if we should stay a bit longer and see london for a few days? uhm, YEAH. so in sep i will be europes happiest little travelor. any tips for what to see and do?? (i already found an adventure boat tour and my FAV shakespeare play at the Globe).

blast from the past

2009-08-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

so.. i just got a call from gideon. if you know who he is, then you understand how friggen cool that is. we were at svp together in south africa after we each finished our dts (were we met at a confrence at ywam wooster..) he just called out of the blue. wow. now i most want to jump up and go film something.. and then go back to africa.. or both simultaneously..

swine flu?

2009-08-04T14:36:00.001-07:00

so i am still sick.. and am starting to wonder if it's swine flu..
according to the symptoms i am only lacking one (dia...a) and after two weeks of blaaaaaaaaaahhh....

freakstock 09: hand on your heart

2009-08-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

wow.. i am having trouble prosessing all the things that happend at freakstock well enough to blog them. it was a lot.

i guess the main thing was seeing people i care about again.. most i see 1-2 times a year, and there were quite a few i havent seen in 5-10 there!!! awesome. this year i worked in careport and translated englisch to german. (and occasionaly reversed) and i limited it to the 5 hours a day i needed to work... unlike most years where i do waaaay more. it was a nice break.. i actually got to go to praise and worship, the services, and a concert or two. i even got the chance to evangelise a guy from the town who came only since they got in free. we left off at him planning to pray every night for a week that God will reveal himself.

there were funny times- stories like hottie and the bavarian tract, the little girls mixed up word use, or how to translate noises.. and serious times- like planning the next convoy, roberts baptism, or the counseling sessions after the workshop i translated. i was doing the marriage seminar from diane bello... and there were arrrrgg times- when i didnt sleep enough, things took to long to set up, the food was cold before we got to eat, and certain As didnt come..

but it was an awesome time. God really provided a great freakstock (and a few yummy drinks, just in time.. i love coffee shops..)

on the way there the blessings started.. a girl decided rather last minute she'd drive and take me (even picked me up 30 minutes out of her way), and even stopped in gilserberg where i used to work. we got out and i spent half an hour talking to andy, my old boss, and his parents. they really need prayer.. he looked horrible. a short time later i got a call that i can have the two rooms in a flat i looked at and really wanted!! i move out of this place on sep 1.

i'll stop there.. just leave you with a brief thought on the motto:
hand on your heart.. honest to yourself, others and God.. where are you right now? what do you need?