hans in heaven

i can't even really find the words for this post.. i have mentioned others that passed on before and what they meant to me. many i didn't even mention because it's morbid how many i know who die.. and now, it's Hans.

i don't think i need to explain who he was. anyone who knows me has heard of hans. or even met hans. or at least read on here about him, his fight with addiction and his turn to God, his baptism and his return to drugs. he meant a lot to me... he was my biggest challenge and biggest blessing.

he died of an illness, not a drug-overdose.

last night i sat with friends and suddenly started telling stories of hans. sad ones, funny ones, hopeful ones.. and i caught myself always saying "he was"... i corrected it to "is" and told more stores. i guess, in a way, it was like a wake. "was" had been the correct term. i always thought i'd know it somehow when he passed. i guess i was right.