28 February 2010


so.. now on to the next thing.. you can continue praying for the meeting with the salvation army, nothing has really been decided yet.. and for my foot, the pain came back a bit but i am hoping it's just stressed a little and will go back to the state of healing it was n last week!

now i am off on a moments notice to borgentreich (by kassel) for a Jesus Freaks counseling seminar this coming weekend... i have to go early and will be helping lay water pipes and what not at the old army base we use..

26 February 2010

prayer request

for sunday, please pray for my conversation with the salvation army regional leaders.

21 February 2010

the hot wax gospel

since there have recently been some people reading my blog who don't know me well or for long, i have to explain this story.
in the summer of 2007 i was at a christian festival as a drug counsellor... there a freak accident happened, and i ended up spending the next 13 months on crutches. basically it was some very bad hyperextended ligaments and a break they missed on the xrays for a year.the pain never went away. i had "good days" and even weeks (meaning the pain was at a noticable but mostly tollerable level) and "bad days" or weeks, where the pain was so bad that i couldn't think of much else... this has gone on since. sometimes, i'd go too far on a good day, and it would turn into bad weeks.. bad enough to have to grab the crutches again for a month or so. the last month i spent on crutches was october 2009.

let me define "too much" (i am going somewhere with this and find the detail relevant.. if you don't, feel free to skip a paragraph or two) i couldn't stand for more than a few minutes at a time. walking was better, i could usually manage about 5-10 minutes. sitting was ok, as long as my foot was elevated and i wasn't wearing a shoe to weigh on the ligaments. laying down was also good, if i had a down blanket balled up at the end of the bed to support the ankle and was careful when turning over to lay it back in a stable position. i am not talking about "at first" but rather the on-going conditions. i would wake up on average five times a night from pain. every night. movement was a generally bad idea.. flexing, rolling, toe wiggling.. all hurt to do still.

before the accident my daily routine consisted of me walking all over town and talking/praying with the homeless and drug addicts. i was on my feet about 6 hours at a time. (ok, less in summer.. we could sit..) after the accident i had to stay at home and have people come to me. you never really notice how MUCH a foot is worth. what are you doing with your feet right now? i bet a week ago, it would of meant pain for me.

some time ago i was given a donation anonomosly for my foot. i thought and prayed about it.. it wasn't enough to pay the physicle therepy i needed. but i had this idea to get a paraffin wax bath. the idea wouldn't leave me alone, so i searched ebay and spent a few weeks trying to win a cheap one. it got here last thursday and i plugged it in. my expectations were that it might feel good to use it. that it might even feel better for a few hours after. that if the wax melts fast enough, it might be something i could do at night before bed, or in the morning when its so stiff. maybe just a little break...

it felt good. i like the heat. and the dull throb wasn't there when i finished. i felt great. better than expected- way better. i starting telling my flatmate about it before i'd even gotten the oily stuff washed off my foot. then we headed out of the house, and i grabbed my bike... and as i rode i noticed i had the full normal range of motion in my foot when peddeling (usually i flat-footed it) i started discribing it to my flatmate and insisting she should watch me peddle. we were at a friend's art show and after talking to him about each piece, i told him how long we'd been standing already with a huge smile on my face, asking if he can believe it?! later that day i was at steiger and went from one room to the next and back again telling everyone the surprising effects of the wax. and then later, when i met a group of virtual strangers for sushi, i somehow managed to turn the conversation on to wax again. and so on.. i'm afraid to say, i got MORE obnoxious, not less.. every hour, every day. friday to my boyfriend, saturday at a birthday party, sunday at church... the more i noticed i could do without the pain returning, the more i had to tell people about. and i am still doing things, just because i can.. and telling about it... just because i can.

I HAVE HAD NO PAIN SINCE 3PM THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you, paraffin wax! thank you donation! thank you Jesus!!!

and it's made me see a large portion of the Bible in a very clear way, very suddenly: the Gospels. we read the stories all the time of Jesus healing the sick woman/child/man who is blind-lame-possessed... and up till now i would read it and think "yeah, thats cool." (in a monotone) and now i read it and i think "OH YEAH!!!! BOO-YAAA!" because i can understand it from the perspective of the one being suddenly healed. especially the stories where the persons faith isn't mentioned.. i really feel like the one's who are kinda "oh well, tried everything else, might as well try some Jesus.. he might make me feel a bit better for a few hours." and then BAM- you can walk... run.. jump.. dance! (and yes, i have done all these and more in the few days) and it is LIFE CHANGING. nothing is the same. nothing could ever be the same, because now, NOW all those things that weren't doable ARE. all that pain is GONE. all the depression and feeling of inadaquacy and fear is GONE. all of the dependence on others to carry stuff or slow down or adapt to you nullified. suddenly, LIFE is easier.

so you want to scream it from the mountain tops... make an infomercial... tell all your friends, and their friends, and their friends friends.. about IT- the thing that changed your life. the thing that made you smile again. the thing that brought you back closer to your loved ones. the thing that you needed for so long and finally found... you want them to find it too.

that's what i hope my faith is. every day. not about paraffin wax baths (although please, if you have chronic pain, try it out!) but about JESUS. i hope that's the thing people remember about me after a day at the sushi circle or a visit to the museum or a conversation on the cold street corner. the way that knowing Jesus has impacted my life. because He has done a lot more than that paraffin wax bath has.. and look how much i had to say about it.

18 February 2010

mediteranean karlsruhe

after being treated to a very romantic and delicious morokkan meal for valentines day, i wanted to relive some of the flavors and excitement.. so i invited my japaneese flatmate to lunch and hit the kitchen.. pure homemade luxury:

melitzanosalata (greek eggplant dip), hummus, olives (set with garlic last night), mint-yogurt sauce, sheeps-cheese, salad with cucumber, yellow bell pepper, red onion, and on tortillas (a rare find here)...

17 February 2010

brrrrrrrr und grrrrrrrrr

street work today was rather miserable. i know i am probably supposed to be super happy that i was able to go out in the freezing drizzle and not talk to people... but well..... it kinda seemed pointless today. the intro kinda summed it up: its literally freezing, yet it was alternatively raining and snowing... mush on the streets (scary to bike in..). and due to the weather (?) also almost nothing going on. still, coffee and tea in tow we headed out to werder platz (with a rather small group today.. we were down by 3) and no one was there. at all. we waited. and waited. and started to have our toes go numb. and then chrissy came.. he ws so drunk that he won't remember it by tommorow. he was rather obnoxious, too.. made fun of me the whole time and did tricks on me.. usually i look forward to talking with him, and have had some really good conversations, so it was especially disappointing. oh well. maybe we had just gotten too used to the exceptionally good weeks we've been having this year.

on the bright side, someone from Gospel Tribe bought me some black olives and goat cheese. so i am off to make hummus and then eat wraps..

05 February 2010

butterflies in boxes

a few weeks ago i "met" A.B. (name shortened unless she gives permission or outs herself in the comments) through some comments on a blog we both read. then we exchanged a few emails, and she said she would like to send me a package. i tried not to get my hopes up.. i've heard the same thing a few times before. (cough..konspiracy...cough) she even asked if there is anything i particularly want. anyone who knows me should have a few things in mind already that i answered... i'll just let the pictures do most of the talking.. except to say have you ever seen a bottle of vanilla extract that big?! oh yeah baby, someone's going to go crazy in the kitchen!!

i had tears in my eyes when i was unpacking this stuff.. i mean seriously, a stranger just had it on her heart to bless me... and wow, i am feeling it. (not to mention the trip to the post office helped me get some answers: mom, i think everythings going to be ok) so here it is:

yes, i am a total tom's of maine junkie (i blame my sister-in-law for getting me hooked). and can you believe germany doesn't do peppermint candy??

03 February 2010

drug counseling!

today was street work again with "gospel tribe" (none of the actual gospel tribers were there..) and it was an awesome time.. things keep getting better and better.. today i got into a great conversation with a woman about my age who is trying to get off drugs.. she keeps breaking off her detox close to the end. i encouraged her, and she said she was told by social services to find a drug counsellor, but that she doesn't like the way they talk to her like she is never going to make it, that they aren't helpful like me.. so i offered that she can meet with me if she'd like. and she would! so, be praying that nadine comes friday. (i am slowly taking over the salvation army... mWUhahaha,, no, just kidding..but christin is letting me do the drug counseling there).