30 January 2008

game night

i forgot to post this pic of our freaks- welcome- andrea game night a week or two ago. ;-)

flightful dreams

last night i had this strangely intense dream, of which only a part is still in my mind. i lost the butterfly pin that hans (my favorite junkie) gave me for christmas two years ago. this morning when i saw it on the shelf the full force of the dream slammed back at me, and i was caught to pray for him. thus, i am passing him on as a prayer request to you. i haven't seen him since this past christmas, although he said he would stop by again. all that i hear of him is very bad- people i don't think will last long telling me he is in worse shape. hans is a great guy, please think of him in your prayers.

26 January 2008

rules are rules

ok.. there's been an incident at the hope house.
tensions were already high with matze's disappearance this past week, and with andrea's.... well person. and it has been generally a time of tension and learning. tonight matze was supposed to take over for moerssl at 19:00 for the evening shift (i really am starting to see it more and more as shifts, since there always has to be someone home). i was at the women's night out, a bi-annual jesus freak event, and moerssl was (supposed to be) at his friend joachim's.

only matze didn't show up. he came later, shortly before i got home. apparently there was a negative interaction between the guys, after which matze shut himself into his room. moerssl waited for me to take over before leaving. i asked where had matze been, and the answer was "partying."

now, since we are a half-way house, we have rules. one of these is that no one drinks alcohol when we have guests. there is never alc allowed at the house, and with a guest there we also abstain when out. so i asked matze, and he said he'd been drinking. i threw him out. there is no other way to handle it, the rules we apply to our guest have to also be kept by us. i said he can come back tomorrow, if he's sober.

he was mad and stormed out.

so now we have a situation on our hands. andrea is still here till monday, matze may or may not be back by then. hannah is out of town. moerssl, who is never mad is rageing. so i am asking for prayer, wisdom, and understanding. we definately have a few difficult conversations ahead of us. i still think matze belongs in the house, but we need to know what is going on with him and how to deal with it..

mac attack

86%How Addicted to Apple Are You?

yup, i'm an addict. and if you follow the link, you'll see my newest desire..

24 January 2008

the Lord's land landlord

so we finally saw our landlord and his team of master craftsmen this week thursday. our walls have been drawing water and the cielling had started to leak. he arranged for all of that to be taken care of, as well as the backyard to get a new wall and gazeebo thing, to fix the front steps, and paint the basement. this is really cool, since it's taken us months to get him to come, and usually he is really negative about everything. so we are excited.

to go along well with that, matze and peter spent today putting down the wood flooring in the living room. they will (hopefully) finish tomorro. the house is looking good.

ACHTUNG: prayer works

last night i was in a funk. and moerssl was in a funk. moerssl, who is otherwise very slow to negative reactions, full of understanding, and peaceful, had been going around the house for days like a storm cloud. most of it was directed at matze, who- despite our having a guest and the cat needing to be neutered- dissapeared for almost a week. and i, (how'd you put it kelly?) was having self-destructive tendencies working themselves into a new whatever.

so he came in and we were funking at each other and with each other, and al green would of been proud, but wrong decade. so i decided hey man, lets pray and see what God'll do.

so yeah. it worked. by the end we were laughing, and both felt 20 kilo lighter.. and the night stayed good. be encouraged..

21 January 2008

walking together..

two lions in the german jungle.

19 January 2008

lions at sunrise

"this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship..."

16 January 2008

and re: A

this is an re: of the goals i set for 2008, and announcement that the first (A) has come to pass.

we want to take people in at the hope house according to our vision, and monday night we were called upon to do just that. detlev, an alcoholic whom i counsel, called to ask if we could take in a friend of his for the night. she came, and ended up asking to stay until she has to go into the hospital in about two weeks. her name is andrea and she is 41. she has an intestinal problem that i can't explain in english, and that you wouldn't want to read about anyway- trust me. of course, she is also part of the street scene. when she gets out of the hospital, she will also probably stay with us for a few weeks. we said, however, that it depends on how long she is there- the guest apartment is booked for mid march already. ;-)

so for those of you who want to know what to pray for:

andrea's health, that she will be physically able to get the things she needs to do done before going into the hospital and that there won't be any complications where we would need to call emergency medical help.

for our nerves... she talks none stop, and much like an indie film- you never know exactly what part of the story you're hearing, and then several stories are also being told simultaneously.. like a puzzle.

for support both financially (she has no money for food, and needs more heat and warm water due to her illness) and in time commitment (we need people to simply be here during the days/evenings, so that i can do other things as well and not only sit there. someone has to be home at all times and available-meaning in the living room/kitchen)

addittionaly for time, we need a woman willing to spend the weekends at the house and the two weeks post-hospital, since hannah will be home in hessen during that time.

02 January 2008

rewind 2007

january: started counseling someone new, who later in the year was baptised

february: lilly moved out, monitor died, kate came, two new brothers,

march: went live on tv talking about God, flew to dallas for a very special wedding

april: another new brother, met the texas version of jesus freaks, went to the ACL conference, hans 40th

may: kate konspiracy left for "wow"

june: still in "wow" adventurland

july:freakstock.. seeing the psalters and getting busted up

august: my birthday- and i got what i asked God for and more

september: visit from the girl, spontaneous boat trip

october: hannah moved in, i preached alot

november: sibe came, mt 28:19

december: fiji team, the christmas aktion

pressing on...

phillippians 3:13-14
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

as i settle into the new year, this verse popped into mind. yeah, it's a bit cliche for the first of the year, or anytime something new starts, but it is cliche for a reason- it fits.

so here are my new goals for 2008.

hope house:

~that we start a regular prayer time as a house
~renovations in the living/dining room (lay a floor mostly) and redo the main kitchen, solve the wet walls and drippy ceilings problem
~find out about possibility of buying the house
~take in at least 4 people for vision purposes, in addition to the other guests.
~start the organization
~find sponsors specifically for the house


~to make a full length documentary about the szene for festivals
~to attain and maintain physical health
~to preach more often
~start a theology masters degree
~avoid burn-out by getting out of town for at least one day a month, and at least one weekend every three, and at least one week every six- NOT related to ministry in any way.
~that the thing spoken over me by the fijian team come to pass. (hey, every year needs one cryptic one, right?)

and of course, not for me, but... that hans will finally manage to get clean.


its that time again.. where people reflect on the things that transpired in the year we left behid and turn there attentions to the one at hand. this post is a look at my goals and their outcomes. if you have been reading awhile, this might not be new, if you are new to my blog and person, it should give you an overview.

hope house goals:

1. take in at least four people.
we took in nine people. [10 if kate counts double ;-) ] but not the way i expected.. this year the hope house was more a place of rest than a place for drug recovery. the people who stayed here were mostly friends, except anita, the teenager who came here to deal with abuse issues. we also had a bigger problem with real housemates than expected; silke, kai, yeusseph all being temporary flatmates.

2. finally finish the needed renovations in the guest apartment, prayer room, bath, and guest kitchen.
we finished the guest room (although we still need a carpet for it), the bathroom, and the guest kitchen (barely! done this week). the prayer room is alright, but needs work, and we got more done on the living room than planned.

3.that we will be able to find supporters for the house project in prayer, time commitments, and financially.
no change. although more people know of the house and ask about it.. i am sure they pray.

4. that the possibility of starting an organization to manage the house be looked into and either put into action or decided against.
since our final housemates just settled in december, this hasn't been taken into action, but we did decide that we would like to go for it, and i have done preliminary research.


1. i would like to preach more often and in more venues
this year i preached three times of a scheduled four, all at the jesus freaks. i held a few smaller messages at cafe chance and Bible study, and i translated a few sermons in bremen and hamburg. goal not reached.

2. produce at least two films for television/ festivals; moreover, at least six short films for the jesus freaks services.
another failed goal. the film that i was supposed to finish this year is still in the works. and i did not make any short films for the freaks.

3. i would like to finally make it to london, to amsterdam, and back to brussels.
2/3.. with kate i was able to go to amsterdam and brussels. loved both! i didn't go to london this year, i missed the ryanair ticket at 1cent by five minutes!

4. i'd like to start the theology courses that i got from a seminary over the internet.
yes, i did several of the courses. it made me realize that what i really want to be doing is getting a masters of theology. i also listened to a few courses from berkeley, mit and duke.. its much more informative than tv, and nothing can make you so tired as listening to a proff ramble on about the indirect effects of.....zzzzzz

5. i would like to actually lead someone to christ, and see the fruit of it.
YES! 5 of the guys i work with gave their lives to Christ this year, and three others were baptised!

6. that the pressing issue be settled and that things can finally move on, in one direction or the other... and that i am ok with it.
yeah, i may not have said much about what it was, but my post from nov 5th was about this being settled.

7. that hans will finally make it this year through the detox and therepy.
no.. he tried again, but failed.

total months on the go- 4 (fast wie denn jahr davor.. krass, es kamm mir wie viel mehr vor)
number of months "benched" due to injury/ illness- 6
deaths of people i knew well- 5