disapointment

hans dropped out of detox.

jens

jens, another guest from cafe chance, has been at a chrstian therepie for a month now. he is really setteling in well and enjoying it. he has also been seeking God. at first he just went to try it out for a week, but he decided to stay. this is especially cool because he is a bit older, and was convinced he wouldnt have a chance.

thomas gottschalk

today i ran into olli in town while showing kate the city and doing my "rounds." he told me that thomas gave his life to christ on sunday!! i knew he was starting to think seriously about God, because we'd had many conversations. also, he'd been increasingly disruptive durring the short message time in cafe chance, which i interpreted as a sign that he didn't want anyone to see he was fighting with spiritual issues himself. friday night he stayed late after the cafe (till past 11) covering all the basics of faith with andrea and olli. sunday he went with her to church and decided to give his life to christ.

cate conspiracy

the great cate conspiracy to take over the world (one country at a time) is recieving reinforcements wednesday..

kate, my friend from college, is comming to visit!!! my friends here have been accusing me of having multiple personalities due to sentences like "kate and i are going to be in hamburg that weekend." and also think i am speaking in third person often, due to sentences like "kate likes coffee."

so i just got off the phone with her, and am convinced that i won't stop laughing for several weeks to come... this is a good thing, life has been stressfull lately.

call the dr

saturday afternoon we already knew it was imminent. we needed to call the doctor, but we decided it was best to wait a day. here's the story:

we've been searching for a long time for a new housemate without much luck. finally, in light of the fact that lilly was actually gone, we resigned to an add in the internet for a short-term rentee (whats the englisch word?) advertising an open house for saturday.

usually there is a storm of people who come to these things. we cleaned up and made coffee, setteling down in my room to wait for the doorbell to ring at noon. (open house was 12-2) we listened to some worship music, we talked, we prayed. specifically, i prayed for a woman around our age. moerssl prayed for a christian.. and we both prayed that God send the right person and make it clear to us.

one woman came. one. she's 29, and moving to bremen from hamburg (like i did), and doctor. we gave her a coffee and hit it off from the start. we walked through the house and talked, and in lillys room she turned and looked at the writting above the door, "alpha and omega you have loved me." i had briefly thought about painting over it while we were cleaning up, and in the minute it took her to look from the writting to my cross and ask "are you..or yall.. believers??" i sure wished i had. she was so nice, we hoped she would like us too. moerssl pulled his cross out from under his t-shirt, and i affirmed.

she smiled. not the nice little "how quaint" smile i am used to getting when i admit to my faith, but a heart felt smile, and said "me too!" it turned out, she is from the vineyard church in altona, where alot of my old friends from the jesus freaks (like steffan korth who visited dallas once) go now. in fact, they were all praying for her to find an apartment.. we exchanged a few names of people and laughed some more. and she confided, that she had prayed before comming that God would help her find a good place to live.

i went on to tell her about the hope house vision, and to say that we understand while theres another person in the house as a short-term renter that we can't take in homeless. she said as far as she concerned its a very cool vision and that we can take people in while she is there.

as she left, moerssl and i were speachless. yes, yes, yes, YES! very cool. so i called her tonight (we have people comming tues, but we'll show them the basement) and said we'd really like her to move in. she said she'd just been thinking about us, and would very much like that.

oh, and i met a woman at church tonight who came by afterwards for dinner who just moved to bremen two weeks ago. she's an interior designer (yes mom, a real one) and on the search for an apartment and christian roommates... so, i have some hope again. God sure keeps me on my toes, comming through with answered prayers in miraculous and wonderful ways at just the right time. its still a challenge though, to trust Him and not get caught up in worries. but this will be added to my huge list of reminders of his faithfullness.

o'chari

sitting in the offen:bar tonight at the freaks bar night, i felt a heavy sence that i should go home. it made sence, because i wasn't working this time and had had a very long day (we had open-house looking for a roommate, and then i'd been to visit hans in detox with karo, then to a team meeting for offen:bar volunteers)... but i was planning to meet up with some people at the bar and hang out. a few interesting people were already there, enough so that i normaly would just hang.

but the feeling wouldn't leave me alone, and i went home. i thought i'd call lilly and tell her about the roommate search (i'll post that later) but there was no answer. hmm. sitting there i started to feel a little ridiculous, everyone else was at the bar.. and although tired, thats never kept me from friendds before.. and then the phone rang.

my phone doesn't ring often. i wish it did more.

the voice on the other end was the kind that brings tears of joy to your eyes in only a word. a voice from the past, of foreign places and extreme adventures. of someone quite different from me in some ways, and yet on the same track in the important ones. the kind of voice that makes you forget what it was that was bearing on your soul and to laugh out of your heart. the kind of call that is never long enough.

so yeah, the twenty minutes were over too soon, and they left me feeling good. and for those of you who don't understand the title, its xhosa and means "charissa from canada."

valentines

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. "

- C. S. Lewis

monitor died

this time i am unfortunately not writting about a computer, but rather about a homeless guy. i found out tonight at cafe chance that monitor died last week of an overdose of both alchohol and drugs.

it took me a few minutes of listening to figure out who they meant- i knew him by his real name, helmuth. he was about mid to late 40s, and already a bit mixed-up in his head. he always wore the same blue jogging suit, played the guitarre, and carried aroung alllloooot of stuff. i used to talk to him at the dom or in front of a supermarket. he didn't like his state appointed counselor, and wanted me to take over, but he wasnt allowed to make that kind of decision (and i am not qualified for state handled cases).

the guy wasn't exactly the most kosher of people, and the general feeling seems to not be of sadness over his departure. he often stood me up and always had a rather unbelievable story to go along with it.. but i still liked him just fine. of course, i wasn't one of the people he tried to tax for begging on "his" streets, or who he punched when drinking too much korn. in front of me, he always wanted to appear to have his life together.. said he doesnt take drugs or drink often, he has a million in the bank and prefers the streets, and so on..

i found out too late in order to go to the funeral, if they even have one. and i don't have a picture of him.

blue elephant

tonight we said goodbye to lilly. well, she isnt quite dead yet.. uhm, i mean gone. but she is flying to dallas on wednesday. i know kellys happy, but for me its sad. the sadest thing to happen all year. dont get me wrong, i'm happy for her/them... but lilly is a good friends and roommate, and i will miss her. is it selfish? maybe. but i still wish she wouldn't go away.
anyway, we threw her a going away party at the offen:bar. she had to be there anyway, for her last shift. there was indian curry and cake, and a toast. oh, and a box of things she wont get in the states and likes. alot of the freaks and offen:bar staff came by.
she'll be back in a month for a few weeks, and then i'll be in the states right after that, so i guess it isnt that dramatic.. except that she doesnt live here anymore. (and we still need a new housemate)

ebenbild sermon

this is the painting to my "image of God" sermon.

thats the title of the film i finished, and the sermon accompanied the film and mucks live painting today in church.
surprising twist to my sermon: it included a call for people to give their lives to christ.. i wasn't expecting to go there. but, it ended up being a well rounded sermon with a bit of depth. i'd link it, but it's in german. so instead, injoy the visual part..

hanstrengend

YEAH!!!!! hans is in detox!!!

the past two days have been the most diificult this year so far. also the most rewarding. this is the goal i have been working so hard towards. it was a looong and difficult day, but i'm too tired to write the whole story. we'll sum it up with the fact that i was at work, out of the house, for 14 hours without a break.

and please pray for hans, that he complete the detox and apply and go through a therepy. especially that God will bless him with peace.

(btw: the title is a pun in german.. the word anstrengend means exhausting, add the h for hans..)