rewind

there was alot that happened in the past year.. most of it can be read somewhere in my blog archives.. heres the play-by-play..

i moved out of my apartment on the last day of 2005 and went from there to a new years party, not sure where i would be spending the next few days...

january i was in the usa, at my longest friends wedding and visiting dallas and my brother in LA.

february i looked for a new apartment and found the hope house.

march was mathew 28:19 and the counselling seminar.

april i surprised lilly at her parents for her birthday, threw hans a birthday party, and went to the ACL-forum (for street workers and drug counsellors).

may i got my two-year visa, went to the jesus freaks leadership conference, and began renovating the house.

june we moved into the house and immediately filled it with wedding guests, and went to the regional freaks weekend in celle.

july was more renovating and i left for freakstock.

august was freakstock and convoy, then visits to church leaders in chemnitz and friends in hamburg.

september kelly came, and i celebrated my birthday belated.

october i went to a long counselling seminar, sibe came to visit from switzerland, and i began the production of "ebenbild" (image)

november willi moved in with us, i went to falkos 30th, met the guys from verden, took courage, had 8 guests from sachsen, sushi came.

december started in christiania, ilt came, i finished "ebenbild" and saw it on tv, "unsicher" (my film from last year) was in a fil festival, it was evangelism month, and i spent new years eve with friends in the garden house i used to live in.

some numbers for my baptist friends:

months without a home- 6
total months on the go- 3.5
guests we took in- 29
theater performances- 1
sermons- 9
deaths- 6
films- 5
saved- ?

kunsthalle bremen

this post is primarilly for murray...
i went to the art gallery of bremen today (see link) and these photos are the result.. i was surprised, they also had quite a few famouse pieces and a good variety of artists... i avoided photographing most of them, though, because anyone with an art book can see them.

treading water

this is a postcard i have identified with for a few years.. i saw the film tonight for the first time that it advertised, and wish i had seen it then. it was the missing puzzle piece.

salü from the girl behind the fish

the gift of giving

the german christmas traditions are rather different than the american ones. for starters, they celebrate on the night of the 24th. then there are the jesus freak traditions.. they are a bit unusual as well, but i like them. we went out all afternoon yesturday with two very overloaded supermarket buggies. one full to overflowing with gifts, the other with four big pots full of kohl und pinkel, a north german specialty (potatoes, green kohl, and two kinds of sausage), coffee, tea, clementines, and cookies. we we from the "church" to the main station, then through town to the dom (cathedral) and back again. we must of given food and gifts to around 50 people. this is the kind of tradition i like! it was a little difficult, though, because alot of the people were greedy and kept opening gifts then saying they want a new or different one. i understand if it doesn't fit, but ahomeless person who says he needs something warm, and then trades it for a book because he doesn't like the color?! mostly, though, people were touched that we would be out on christmas, just to serve. and surprisingly, everyone liked this wierd german meal. (ok, i admitt, after passing it out we went to the offenbar and ate the left-overs, and it actually was pretty good.) church was short, but nice- there were 4 jesus freaks and 10 guests there!! several who we met on the streets came to see what kinda of church we have, that would cause us to be the way we are. they were a bit surprised- i think in a good way.

and, i also got a few special presents- most notably leg-warmers that a friend knitted me! and a small candle holder that one of the guys i counsel gave me to say thanks.

after all the stress of the past few weeks, it seems very quiet and lonely here. all of my roommates are gone to their current or future families. all the shops are closed till wednesday. there is no mail. and even the tv schedule is messed up. hrmpf. i settled for making a fine tex-mex christmas dinner (thanks to leigh and mom) with hans and willi (who then decided they weren't hungry and watched me eat.... if it was because they saw how much chili powder i poured in?)

oh, and i made it through the christmas season only hearing ONE christmas song.

prayer room

today muck sprayed our prayer room!!

positive perspective

so, as promised.. here is a different look at parts of yesturday..
i ate a frozen pizza. (ok, so that isnt so important, but it meant less prep-time, and it was cheap and tasty)
my film was on tv, and i was able to last-minute organize a place to go and watch it. and my friend tina even watched with me and gave me positve feedback. she also offered me her e-guitarre for 20e because she is leaving the country.. we'll see. and on the way out i met up with axel and connie for a minute, who i had both not seen in ages.
then street group was being filmed by a journalism team.. so i got to do my two passions at once- street work and film. they were new to the film side of things and needed quite a bit of help. we ran into alot of people on the streets i haven't seen in awhile, and had some good times with the punks.
and the highlight. at the mainstation, i saw this guy who is new to the bremer scene.. maybe 2 months now. i had never had a chance to talk to him, but had observed how he warms himself by standing behind the idelling busses, and that he is always wet. (it rains alot here) i went and gave him socks, gloves, hat and shall, and tea. he was sooo grateful, it was cool! he immediately took off his shoes, revealing very wounded grey feet, wrapped in newspaper and covered in sores. his name is boris, he looks to be about 20, and probably has a full blown case of aids. i told moerssl his story, and asked if he had any leftover shoes (same size) and he found a pair! yeah! so i am on my way now to go find boris and give him the dry shoes.

disapointment understated

there are days on which i want to quit. days, where i think it is all meaning -less, and that the work is too difficult for me. this was one of those days.

it didn't exactly sneak up on me.. i have been seeing it comming. it's a story about willi, the guy who lived with us for six weeks. last week he came by while i was at street group, and was in an agressive mood. at one point he stormed out of corcken's room (where they were having Bible study) and when corcken went to see what was up, he caught willi red-handed with our food-bank in the hand, about to take out the 30euros. he told a story about his father not wanting to see him ever again. he was noticabley drunk, and admitted to having had a relapse. he also came on a stolen bike.

last night he was here again, and drunk again. he had a long conversation with corcken and it seemed like he was getting back on his feet. he even agreed to take the bike back, with corckens help, although obviously on something.

this morning he rang me out of bed. he'd not met corcken (he left home about 15 minutes before they were supposed to meet...) and was angry. we called corcken, and then he wouldn't leave. it took me an hour to get him out of the house (i was still in pjs and had slept 2 hours!), and he kept flipping between agressive (not physicly) and begging.

a few hours later, he was back at the door. moerssl was home, but totally unable to handle the situation. none the less, i backed out after a little while and left the guys to it. i dont like to work with guys when they are in a certain state. it's hard to explain, but a woman just kinda has a different perspective... and i didn't feel comfortable today. willi called corcken and yelled at him over the phone, threatening to steal his computer even. corcken was at his fiances around the corner, and he got heiko and the two of them came over. i dont think moerssl has ever been so happy to see heiko! they went out together for a cigareet and the yelling and begging continued. then willi again tried to get into the house for some money, and i said no. aparently i had some authority on my side this time, because he (unhappily) accepted it and left.

later tonight when i went to street group, i saw willi on the sielwall corner, buying drugs. i dont think he saw me, i had my parka on and turned so that my face was hidden.

ok, i know this is a bit long.. the day seemed even longer. keep in mind, in between i also had meetings with two others, then went to the offenbar to see my film on tv, then street group passed out socks and coffee through the entire city.... so i have been working for 16 hours now, have had one meal, slept 2 hours last night, it is 45 degrees F and raining. and this was, while a rather bad one, not that unusual. and so i find myself sitting here, wondering why in the world i chose this way of life?!?! (yes, i am groggy and negative.. deal with it.) maybe i'll most some of the good things that happened today. but.. not right now.

tiny plaid ninjas

i just have to share this link. they are tiny, plaid, and funny. watch and enjoy.. (and if you happen to have some plaid fabric laying around, cut out a ninja and mail it to me.. i think i want to make a tiny plaid nija sweatshirt.. i am totally a fan now)

peoples choice

please, please.. follow the link above (by clicking on the title of this post) and vote for my film, "v58- unsicher" as people's choice! i have a chance to win an ipod. oh, and my film is being shown tommorow in the festival, and i may win a jury award as well! thanks
http://www.schule.bremen.de/makemedia/index.php?page_id=4&file=119

christmas interviews

today we went to the christmas market and interviewed people with my camera.. the results were rather interesting, and after reading a quote on treeinforest, i thought i would ask the questions here. so here they are:

1. what does christmas mean to you?
2. what is the best christmas gift you ever recieved?
3. can you remember ever getting a non-material gift? what?
4. what was the world's first christmas gift?
5. what does christmas have to do with God?

i am only going to answer 2 and 3. gram gave me a green gymnastics ball when i was (correct me) four or so.. i think its the gift i have had the longest. it even survived my becomming a missionary- its in my room here! (along with its big-brother, the yellow gymnastic ball leighs family gave me my first year in college- after asking what one thing i missed most from home other than people)
the best non-material is a tie..
2004 i was "adopted" over christmas by a city in switzerland. there isnt an easier way to say it, i was stranded in a contry i knew only one person fleetingly in, and was takin in by the jesus freaks and vineyard churches so completely and lovingly... instead of being alone over the holidays, three families invited me over!

and getting to visit murr and meg in LA last year was very special. it wasnt quite the christmas time (i delayed my flight to the usa to be at a certain friends wedding and to partake in bremen in hosting various events for homeless) but it had the christmas aspect of time with family. very cool to see them, and to wear a t-shirt in january. :-)

black

this morning started out really grey.. i woke up reeeaaalllly early for the funeral after three hours of sleep. in my early morning zombie state of mind, i headed off with ilt.. i was already a bit depressed and thinking about michael, and ilt tryed to cheer me up by saying things could only get better.... and then the streetcar control came. oooops. i, in my tired and sadened state of mind, hadn't remembered to tell ilt he needs a ticket today. last night for bible study, he could ride on my months ticket, but only after 7pm. since it was kinda my fault, i gave ilt my months ticket and i got a big ole fine from the local tram service, payable within 14 days. to make matters even better, after waiting around in the cold, windy rain for half an hour, someone finally showed up to the funeral to tell me that it was postponed till next week.

after that i was able to at least see a few people again, who are hard to come by:
judith- told me she was in bremen just two days because of a court hearing. she and her boyfriend finished their 9 month therepie sucessfully and are moving into a clean-flat. (means non-user home)
bugs- told me he finally got an apartment for him and his dog near me, and is still/again clean. he was very excited to see me and will come by next week to talk at length.
the littl heiko- was out of the hospital, where he shared a room with the deceased michael. he broke down in tears while talking.
dierks- the contact policeman. i call him "du" (informal you) and "bulle" (slang for cop) and we do some teamwork and info shareing about the streets.
and of course i saw most of the regulars, too.. mani, petra, eric.

tonight was also the film meeting for 361degrees, which went well enough. and in the ladies bible study we baked fortune cookies for the evangelism project with bible verses in them.

nikolaus

it's nikolaus, the day on which children wake up all across germany to find sweets (if they were good) or straw and coal (if they were bad) in their shoes. so what did cate get?? i woke up, got dressed, and the doorbell rang... and either nikolaus looks really different in person, or..
it was ilt, my friend from chemnitz! ok, to be fair, i did know he was comming.. i just didnt expect him this early. he is the regional leader of jesus freaks sachsen and someone i've known well for over six years. i'd gone to visit him after the convoy, because he wasn't doing too well, and now he just needed to get away for awhile. part of the vision i have for the hope house, is that we also be there for other christians that are needing a rest or encouragement. so today we took a long walk and talked and prayed, and he came with me to street group. (he even watched me edit film awhile..) he will be here till saturday.

winke-winke willi!

willi fritz, our first guest in the hope house, moved out. one of the jesus freaks, heiko, was able to help him get an apartment by speaking with his landlord. so, on the first, willi moved into his own luxureous basement apartment. ok, so it isn't all that fancy, but it isn't easy for an ex-con, ex-junkie to find a place. the contract is for three months "trial" and will be extended if he conducts himself orderly. we will surely miss him, but i now he'll stop by often to talk and drink coffee (he was back already yesturday..).

cold death

tonight at cafe chance, i recieved the news that michael straub is dead. michael was one of the junkies i had a closer relationship to. i knew him through hans (who is suffering greatly over the loss of one of his closest friends) and from the dom and ziegenmarkt. he often came to street group or the jesus freaks, and occassionally he would come to cafe chance. about two weeks ago he told me that he got a place at the heines to detox and was going to therepy afterwards. why is it that the ones who are starting over always die?! he had gotten out of detox and was suffering from a chronic lung infection, which got him into the hospital. aparently, he didn't like it there with all the old and dying, and checked himself out. he died on the streets from medical complications. he was clean. michael was one of the special guys, where i really thought he would make it. he had a good heart, was walking with God, and was on his way back to a healthy life. he was only in his mid forties. on thursday morning is his funeral.

the list is long this year.

travel report

it was an awesome weekend! we did alot of relaxing things. ok, i admit..i had the hardest time of all of us to just sit back and rest.. but i think i needed most of everyone. we ate, prayed, slept, and did it over again.. thats about it.. our main purpose for this trip was to encourage the small jesus freaks group thats been toughing it out in christiania for the past six years. being in denmark cuts them off in a lot of ways from the rest of the movement.. we told them news that has been of major importance in the past few weeks (hannover leaving, hamburg disolving, nuernberg splitting..) and it was all pretty much new to them. we listened to their stories and prayer requests (for new freaks and a feel for community) and prayed alot. on sunday we joined them in another church (the freaks meet every second saturday at midnight). afterwards we helped them stage an advents-kalender theater scene of peter walking on the water, with songs like "hi-ho,hi-ho, a sailing we will go.." und "don't worry, be happy.." [i will add a link as soon as i get it uploaded to you tube] i have always felt really at home in christiania, from my very first visit i could picture myself there. thus it was especially cool to be there for a few days again. (and, the last time we were there, people gave me their leftover kronen because they thought i'd be the most likely to return to denmark, and for that EXACT price i was able to buy a bevar christiania swaetshirt-jacket! merry christmas to me...) i'm afraid the photos don't do justice to the place itself.. (but i'd be happy to act as tour guide if anyone wants to take me along on a trip there...) we arrived back in bremen at 1am monday morning, somehow exhausted...

the back enterance

putting up posters for the church

sandra and john's house

peter sees jesus

moerssl and..half of me

when he grows up, he'll be a pilot..

debbie and casper and the donkey chair

a kinda store wharehouse

sandra, john and casper

josua drives

corcken and josua looking for adventure

banana house

market on pusher street

cool house

mr fireman


by the way: anyone know why the pics all show up in the same format? none of them are sideways when i open them normally, just in blogspot..and they didnt used to upload sideways... grr..